I have been dealing with anxiety since December 26th. I have always struggled with it, but this is when I it hit hard. I feel like I have been going through a rough time...transitioning to having a busy toddler in the house. Or just dealing with some character issues. Or maybe it is just a time "in the valley." I do not want to blame it all on Kara. Derek has also been stressful with his need to touch and destroy everything. I probably took on too much this year and I am no longer in denial of that. I was having a really bad day on January 22nd to be exact (you can tell I keeping track of mood levels to see how they correlate with my monthly cycle). I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed to the point I was getting ticked off. I was trying to get all three kids ready to go to a birthday party (Rob has been working most Saturday mornings) and it was like I could not get shoes, socks, coats etc. together. Getting kids ready and out the door is by far the most stressful thing for me. I don't know why, but I often feel my anxiety escalate when we're trying to get ready to go somewhere. I think this is why I have chosen to stay home so much this year. Rob came home early and finished getting the kids ready and took them to Roths to buy a birthday present which gave me a fifteen minute break. I remember feeling like trying to run this half marathon and doing all these timed runs was too much. I was taking on more than I can handle. Although I did not feel a lot of pressure from anyone, it felt like a weight of my shoulder when I decided to drop it.
Plus I should mention this Animal Science class is a three credit class and it's tough! I did horrible on the first test. Studying in the afternoon is not what it used to be. Hailey, of course, does not nap anymore. Derek fights it at least a couple times a week. Kara had a couple bad afternoons in there as well. I study the best between 8:30 - 10:00 PM at night. That is not always possible the nights we have things going on.
Then Aletha e-mailed me last week and said she was going to do Eugene and had registered. I told her at Christmas I was going to do it and would run it with her. I felt bad because I had been really wanting a running partner since Trena moved to Hawaii. She is just as busy as I am. She's a young mom and a doctor (first time in my life I have a friend who is a MD). At first I told her I was out and she said she understood. Then I e-mailed her the next morning and said, "Well maybe I'm not fully out yet."
I was following Hal's intermediate plan because my mileage was up from the marathon. It seemed silly to drop back significantly. I really wanted to work on pacing and getting my 5K time under 25 minutes. Physically, I could do it. Mentally, I can't. It is just way too overwhelming right now to run that many miles in the week. So I am going to follow the basic plan (Aletha is doing it too). I am going to time some of my runs and try to improve my pace. It is a good motivator. I am also going to keep my training casual. I might go more hard core in the summer when I have less going on (I am probably not taking a summer course or else one that is less intense). I am not going to register for Eugene yet because I want to be consistent for a few more weeks. I am not sure how quickly it fills up, but I'll take the risk.
Monday - Ran 2.65 miles (Mile #1 - 8:38 Total Time - 23:32)
I did my route to Ewald. I actually created this route a couple years ago when I set my course by time not mileage. It was before I was using Map My Run. At the time I ran it in around 30 minutes so I assumed it was 3 miles. So when I finished today I was really surprised to see I ran it in 23:32. Then I got on Map My Run and noticed I was only running 2.65 miles. That is kind of funny! I need to increase some mileage there or find a new 3 mile route. I was glad of the 8:38 mile. I used to think I was always doing 10 minute miles, but I am doing more like 8:40 - 9 minute miles.
Aside from a huge headwind on Liberty that I felt was going to blow me over, I felt really good. Felt very motivated today and glad to be outside in the natural light (even though it is cooler, gray...normal Oregon February).
The anxiety was really bad this morning. Like I called Rob at 8:30 AM and said I was already going crazy and had already yelled at Derek twice. Thankfully I got ahold of myself and we had a better morning. We even got tons of cleaning done. So amazed the house got trashed after being fully sparkling clean Saturday afternoon. I looked at the cluttered kitchen counters this morning and wanted to cry. Kara is a little tornado throughout the whole house. I think the antidepressant is taking the edge off. I am kind of wondering if I need to take it every day versus just 7-10 days out of the month.
Tuesday - Fitness 360 Cardio - 20 minutes
I did the workout this afternoon during naps. Was a great workout especially with the hand weights I am borrowing from Matt and Aletha. I can tell my muscles have not been worked in awhile. My abs need to be worked. I need to keep doing some good stretching too. Pretty tight in certain places.
Not sure how or if this 1/2 marathon is going to work. Rob has to preach that Sunday and will not be taking vacation. I could still do it, but he would have to juggle the kids as well as preach. I kind of want to do the 5k since Team Winter is sponsoring it. Then he and the kids could watch me? But I want to watch Aletha do the 1/2 and cheer her on. Don't how this will work, but we'll figure it out. If anything the 1/2 training plan is a good maintenance plan for right now to get my mileage up.
Anxiety was a little mild again this morning. Not where I wish it would be, but not as overpowering either. It helped the house was cleaner and I got a little bit with Kara and Derek before we had to pick up Hailey.
Wednesday - 2 mile run (Mile #1 - 7:44 Mile #2 - 16:48)
It's hard to run two miles fast! I really felt it after 1 1/2 miles...was quite tired. I did my regular 2 mile going past the park and up Idylwood. Had planned on running at noon, but we had a hailstorm...what is up with that? Really random. It was cold (well...cold for here) and windy today. I did feel really cold at the start, but felt better once I warmed up. It feels good to have my body moving again and exercising. Although I have had some bouts of anxiety today (more than I would like), the exercise seems to be helping. I got in a mild panic about some small things today that I don't think would have normally bothered me. Might do some mood logs later...they usually help.
Thursday - Rest
Enjoyed the rest. Anxiety was very minimal today...just got stressed about Animal Science, but nothing major.
Friday - 3.13 Mile Run (Mile #1 8:07, Mile #2 16:42, Mile #3 26:59)
I felt really good. Just a little bit of shin pain (do I need new shoes already?!) and I hate running on Liberty. There was a slight rain, but more of a mist. I did my old three mile route which was not three miles so I had to add a half mile down Hrubetz to Jones and then past our house to Nina. I am trying to get under 25 minutes, but it's hard too with the uphills and the stops. My time was probably a little less...had to stop at Ash and the intersection of Liberty and Browning.
Should clarify the stops were because of cars/traffic...not because I was too tired.
Anxiety was non-existent today which was wonderful. Finally felt normal.
Saturday - Short walk (cross training) 360 Fitness Yoga
I am following Hal's program and wish I could do more with cross training. Since I dropped my gym membership, it's tough. Walking and some of the aerobic workouts on Exercise TV are my only options. I'd rather do so biking or swimming, but that won't work right now. Honestly it is not even worth our family budget right now to get a Snap Fitness membership. I have no desire to run on a treadmill even if it is raining outside. I'd rather endure the rain. I don't think it's worth it just for use of an exercise bike one or two times a week. I was hoping to buy a bike before the summer, but not sure if that is going to happen.
I like the 360 Fitness programs and Holly Perkins is awesome. I wish the yoga program was a little longer...pretty short. So I might try the Sunrise Yoga next week. Honestly Sunrise is a little crazy with all the chanting music and the weird voice over. It is a longer workout and I like the stretching. I need to do it. My whole body is feeling really tight right now.
Anxiety was again very minimal...hardly existant today. Glad about that. Last weekend I felt crazy and last week Friday was bad. I don't know if it is because I started running again that it is much more under control. Yet I didn't feel like I could start running again until it was. I don't know if that make any sense. What role does the medication play in it? It is like a big giant puzzle. I do know I was happy and energetic this fall when I was training for the marathon. I told Rob I wanted those feelings back. Without having to train for another marathon right now.
Sunday - Ran 4 miles
A little tough. My body is not where I want it to be physically. I tackled the hills and did not have to walk. I tried a new route going down Madrona and up Commerical to Browning and to the park. The hills on Browning were tough...I felt better once I was off those hills. I don't really time my long runs, but I think my pace was really fast in the beginning...like 8 minute miles. I couldn't keep that up once I got past two miles. All in all, I felt pretty good. I know I just need to be consistent to get my miles back up.
Anxiety was very minimal today. I woke up at 6:14 AM...or I should Kara woke me up. I was deep in a dream when she woke me up. She went right back down with her pacifier. I never fell back asleep. My heart was beating faster than normal and for some reason my mind was racing. I kind of thought it would be a bad anxiety day...I stayed home from Sunday School because I thought it would be too much for me. It turned out to be fine and I felt pretty normal all day.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Long overdue blog giveaway
This is long overdue! Many of you supported me with your finanical donations, your prayers, your interest, watching my kids, and your encouraging words on my blogs and facebook so that I was able to complete the California International Marathon in December. I was thrilled to run my second marathon, spend a week by MYSELF in California, and run for Team Winter, a special charity dear to my heart. 12 year old Winter started this charity to create prostate cancer awareness. She said good-bye to her father who passed away from prostate cancer when she was only ten years old.
So I want to THANK YOU!! I am doing my first blog give away!! I will be giving away an official Team Winter t-shirt and prostate cancer awareness band. The t-shirts are great! The stock is somewhat limited. You will receive either a blue, gray, or black Team Winter t-shirt that you can wear to exercise in or just wear around the house. Or you can give it to your spouse or whoever you want. Just make sure you spread Winter's mission of creating prostate cancer awareness.
One of Winter's missions is also to fight childhood obesity by keeping kids (and adults too) active and healthy. So please leave a comment if you want to participate in the giveaway and you can (but you don't have to) share with me a good kid-friendly healthy meal or snack. You can even include a recipe.
Please leave a comment on this blog if you want to participate. I will contact the winner with what size you want and color t-shirt based on what Winter currently has in stock. If you already supported me with a financial donation for my marathon, you are automatically eligible for my give away. If you leave a comment on my blog, you are entered twice. I will be doing the same give away on my running blog so that will increase your chances of winning. Derek (my son) will draw the winning name at 11:00 AM (Pacific time) on Tuesday, February 15th. We'll announce the winner on both blogs.
So I want to THANK YOU!! I am doing my first blog give away!! I will be giving away an official Team Winter t-shirt and prostate cancer awareness band. The t-shirts are great! The stock is somewhat limited. You will receive either a blue, gray, or black Team Winter t-shirt that you can wear to exercise in or just wear around the house. Or you can give it to your spouse or whoever you want. Just make sure you spread Winter's mission of creating prostate cancer awareness.
One of Winter's missions is also to fight childhood obesity by keeping kids (and adults too) active and healthy. So please leave a comment if you want to participate in the giveaway and you can (but you don't have to) share with me a good kid-friendly healthy meal or snack. You can even include a recipe.
Please leave a comment on this blog if you want to participate. I will contact the winner with what size you want and color t-shirt based on what Winter currently has in stock. If you already supported me with a financial donation for my marathon, you are automatically eligible for my give away. If you leave a comment on my blog, you are entered twice. I will be doing the same give away on my running blog so that will increase your chances of winning. Derek (my son) will draw the winning name at 11:00 AM (Pacific time) on Tuesday, February 15th. We'll announce the winner on both blogs.
Thanks for supporting Team Winter!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
January 17-22
Monday - 360 Fitness for 20 minutes
I was able to fit the 20 minute workout into the afternoon. A little easier to schedule since Margie took Hailey and Derek all day. The workout felt great--especially needed to do more abs workouts. She covered that pretty well. I am liking the 20 minute workouts. Going to the gym including the drive would take 1 1/2 - 2 hours out of my day. It is nice to spend 20 minutes in my own house and be done with it. I do miss being around people and being outside of the house. I almost wonder if that is affecting some of the moodiness I was experiencing...not the sole reason...just a symptom. I might look into the running club once I finish my Animal Science class...maybe this spring or summer. I did go to the MOPS gathering last night and that helped. Even so...with the miserable weather keeping us trapped indoors, it's been tough.
Tuesday - Ran 3 miles
Yucky, yucky rain! When will it end!? The run went well though. I did the Liberty to Holder to Lone Oak route. I like it except I hate running on Liberty and hitting the three traffic lights all in a row. Once I get on to Holder, I feel more in the groove. The first mile I felt tired and winded, but picked it up by the second mile. It was raining the whole time, but not pouring. I ran during Rob's lunch again. My mood was horrible this morning, but it was the after affects of a rough late afternoon/evening that I am not so sure really had to do with the anxiety--different symptoms. Had nothing to do with the MOPS gathering either...that was a good distraction. Once I hit 10 AM today, I was fine. I really held it together all day. Even though the kids weren't great today, I was better and in control. I noticed the arm shakiness and head aches were non-existant. That makes all the different. I guess this is also turning into a mood journal. But nutrition/exercise/mood balance--it's all so related, isn't it?
Wednesday - 360 Fitness for 20 minutes
I really enjoyed it again today...though I wish I had the handweights. I did it in the afternoon while the kids napped, although Hailey played while I workd out. Moodwise, no issues at all today. Thank goodness!
Thursday - Timed Run - 2 miles
Mile # 1 - 7:24
Mile #2 - 16:19
I beat my time by last week (16:36 last Friday). After Mile #1 I felt more winded and struggled to keep my pace. I did the exact same course. The air was colder, but I should not have worn mittens because my hands were so sweaty and uncomfortable. I kind of like competing against myself and ultimately would love to try do a 5K in under 25 minutes eventually. My all time best time was around 24:50 or something like that and that was in May of 2004.
Weekend
And unfortunately I did NOT run all weekend. This was mostly due to scheduling problems and other committments. Maybe a lack of motivation too. I realized on Saturday it is not realistic for me to train for a half right now. Physically I know I could do it and run it well. Mentally I am doing a heck of a lot better. I am having a few side effects from the medication, but those outweigh the anxiety I was experiencing before. This Animal Science class is taking up a lot of time and energy. I enjoy it and I like learning the new material. But I am trying to juggle too much. Only running during the day is harder than I thought it would be. I am going to do the Team Winter 5K in April. I am going to be doing a rigorous 5K training plan to try and get my 5K at 25 minutes or less. For now I am going to keep doing 360 Fitness and 2 - 4 mile maintenance runs throughout the week. I am way more comfortable with this. It is way more realistic. Come this summer I might be able to look into halfs or full marathons again. I can only do one race like this a year or every other year at least. I feel good about my decision. I am reminded again and again I have slow my life down the next few months. I don't want to quit running, but I don't want to do hard core training right now either.
Monday, January 10, 2011
January 10 - 16
Monday - 360 Fitness for 20 minutes
This is another Comcast on Demand Exercise program and it is very similar to Group Active which was offered at my gym which I never went to. It is similar to Group Power, but offers more aerobics and hand weights whereas Power was 60 minutes of weights. I met a guy at the CIM marathon who said not to do an excessive amount of weight training with running. He said some is good. He followed a program where you do lots of weights and he said it was an absolute waste of time. His time in the marathon was terrible. I enjoyed talking to him because he has done Boston and runs a couple marathons a year...so he knows what he is talking about. I do miss the gym, but I am finding these 20 minute workouts more practical for this phase of life. Two hours of power a week was hard to schedule. Very few weeks it actually happened.
This workout was great. At first I was not sure how it was going to go since both Hailey and Derek were up. I tried to start at 2 PM while they were having Quiet Time/Naps. The Comcast cable box was being a pain in the butt again and it took FOREVER to even get to On Demand. Derek decided not to nap today. The boy was SO SLEEP DEPRIVED we put him to bed at 6:50 PM. The kids were really patient with me and did not get in my way at all. Derek tried to participate a little and Hailey mostly looked at books. I was able to complete everything and feel like I worked all the core muscles. I would feel a little better if I owned hand weights. Will probably buy some soon. I liked this particular workout and might try another "360" again.
Tuesday - Ran 2 Miles
I run really good when I am ticked off. Had a crummy afternoon with the kids. Too much fighting, whining, bossing...you name it. And the cat marked on the carpet again. Rob had to go out to Portland for an emergency today, but thought he might take a break around 4. He said I could 20 minutes while he took a break. Worked out well and did not expect him to do that for me. I ran the same route as Saturday and it went well. I went the opposite way. I picked up the pace more. It was cold and there were was slight icy snow falling. But the roads were not slippery yet. Is winter over yet!? We are all having cabin fever and the walls of these house are closing in on me!! So glad Trisha wants to go out tomorrow night.
I also miss the gym. Not sure I would want to go back to getting up at 4:50 AM, running on the treadmill, or paying $50.00/month. So maybe it is OK to not have it right now.
Wednesday - Rest
Thursday - Rest
Was planning on Yoga today either in the afternoon or evening. This Animal Science class is eating up a lot of time. It's a lot of work! I cannot push myself to do everything.
Friday - Timed Run - 2 miles
Mile #1 - 7:46 (almost the same time I got in 8th grade!)
Mile #2 - 16:36
With this training program I will start in February I am going to be doing intervals. I want to concentrate on pacing. Did a little with training for Sacramento, but want to use it more faithfully in my training. I know I can do 8 minute miles for at least 3-4 miles because I was doing them on the treadmilll. My best 5ks I kept a 8:30 pace. With the Riverbank, I believe it was more a 9 mile pace. The marathon was 10:05 pace. I did my regular 2 mile route I did on Tuesday. Finished Mile #1 at less than 8 minutes and finished 2 miles in 16:36. Did not stop to walk at all. Could keep it up the whole way but had to keep reminding myself to not zone out and keep the faster pace.
Saturday - Ran 3 Miles
Feel like I am back! Feel really strong while I am running with no pain. And not too winded either. Had a great run despite the awful weather we had all weekend. Constant rain. No sun. At least we are in the 50's. I am ready for spring. It was not running too hard. I did my regular 3 mile run to Ewald and back. Will up it to 4 or 5 next weekend.
Sunday - Rest
It is Saturday as I am writing this...I am probably not going to run tomorrow because Hailey is going to have a friend over at church (possibly). With Rob needing to rest in the afternoons, and the fact I was going to watch a movie with Hailey and her friend--not going to try go out running too. I want to go to the evening service tomorrow. I have not gone in weeks. If for some reason the friend cannot make it, I will try and do yoga during Hailey's rest time. Not planning on it though.
This is another Comcast on Demand Exercise program and it is very similar to Group Active which was offered at my gym which I never went to. It is similar to Group Power, but offers more aerobics and hand weights whereas Power was 60 minutes of weights. I met a guy at the CIM marathon who said not to do an excessive amount of weight training with running. He said some is good. He followed a program where you do lots of weights and he said it was an absolute waste of time. His time in the marathon was terrible. I enjoyed talking to him because he has done Boston and runs a couple marathons a year...so he knows what he is talking about. I do miss the gym, but I am finding these 20 minute workouts more practical for this phase of life. Two hours of power a week was hard to schedule. Very few weeks it actually happened.
This workout was great. At first I was not sure how it was going to go since both Hailey and Derek were up. I tried to start at 2 PM while they were having Quiet Time/Naps. The Comcast cable box was being a pain in the butt again and it took FOREVER to even get to On Demand. Derek decided not to nap today. The boy was SO SLEEP DEPRIVED we put him to bed at 6:50 PM. The kids were really patient with me and did not get in my way at all. Derek tried to participate a little and Hailey mostly looked at books. I was able to complete everything and feel like I worked all the core muscles. I would feel a little better if I owned hand weights. Will probably buy some soon. I liked this particular workout and might try another "360" again.
Tuesday - Ran 2 Miles
I run really good when I am ticked off. Had a crummy afternoon with the kids. Too much fighting, whining, bossing...you name it. And the cat marked on the carpet again. Rob had to go out to Portland for an emergency today, but thought he might take a break around 4. He said I could 20 minutes while he took a break. Worked out well and did not expect him to do that for me. I ran the same route as Saturday and it went well. I went the opposite way. I picked up the pace more. It was cold and there were was slight icy snow falling. But the roads were not slippery yet. Is winter over yet!? We are all having cabin fever and the walls of these house are closing in on me!! So glad Trisha wants to go out tomorrow night.
I also miss the gym. Not sure I would want to go back to getting up at 4:50 AM, running on the treadmill, or paying $50.00/month. So maybe it is OK to not have it right now.
Wednesday - Rest
Thursday - Rest
Was planning on Yoga today either in the afternoon or evening. This Animal Science class is eating up a lot of time. It's a lot of work! I cannot push myself to do everything.
Friday - Timed Run - 2 miles
Mile #1 - 7:46 (almost the same time I got in 8th grade!)
Mile #2 - 16:36
With this training program I will start in February I am going to be doing intervals. I want to concentrate on pacing. Did a little with training for Sacramento, but want to use it more faithfully in my training. I know I can do 8 minute miles for at least 3-4 miles because I was doing them on the treadmilll. My best 5ks I kept a 8:30 pace. With the Riverbank, I believe it was more a 9 mile pace. The marathon was 10:05 pace. I did my regular 2 mile route I did on Tuesday. Finished Mile #1 at less than 8 minutes and finished 2 miles in 16:36. Did not stop to walk at all. Could keep it up the whole way but had to keep reminding myself to not zone out and keep the faster pace.
Saturday - Ran 3 Miles
Feel like I am back! Feel really strong while I am running with no pain. And not too winded either. Had a great run despite the awful weather we had all weekend. Constant rain. No sun. At least we are in the 50's. I am ready for spring. It was not running too hard. I did my regular 3 mile run to Ewald and back. Will up it to 4 or 5 next weekend.
Sunday - Rest
It is Saturday as I am writing this...I am probably not going to run tomorrow because Hailey is going to have a friend over at church (possibly). With Rob needing to rest in the afternoons, and the fact I was going to watch a movie with Hailey and her friend--not going to try go out running too. I want to go to the evening service tomorrow. I have not gone in weeks. If for some reason the friend cannot make it, I will try and do yoga during Hailey's rest time. Not planning on it though.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Week of January 3rd - January 9th
I will not be training for Eugene for another month so my post titles will just be the dates from that week.
Monday - 2 mile run
So tough! Amazing I ran 26 miles a month ago and had a brutal 2 miler. I wish I would not have taken so much time off. I also wish that I would have done SOMETHING during those four weeks. Especially with all the holiday eating. A little more challenging with no gym membership, but even walking or exercise videos would have been better. I miss the gym. But I really wanted to take Animal Science this semester and we had to move some money around. I always knew if we had to make budget cuts, the gym membership would be one of the first things to go.
Anyway I just ran my regular 2 mile loop and it hurt. Mostly side aches, chest aches, and general fatigue. I am not used to the cold air. It was hard to breathe. I don't know how I trained for the Riverbank run two winters in a row doing 100% of my running outside in cold, snow, and ice. Oregon is not as cold, but it's been a chilly week here.
But getting back into running after a break is always tough. The first run in always the worst. It only gets better from there. I know within a few weeks, I'll feel much stronger than I did today.
Tuesday - Yoga - 50 minutes
I did the YogaWorks Slim and Fit on the On Demand cable. Hailey actually did the last 15 minutes with me. Last time I tried to do yoga, she kept jumping on me and was a huge distraction. This time I set up a little area for her and told her she could be in the room and do yoga too if she did not jump on me or get on my mat and if she did not keep asking me if it was almost done. She did awesome and I enjoyed having here there for the last fifteen minutes (she was upstairs for the first 35 minutes).
Anyway yoga kicked my butt! It was harder than the Centergy Class I used to go to. It hurt and I was surprised how quickly exhausted I got! I am not crazy about exercising in my family room or using On Demand/DVDs. I like the group aspect and going to the gym, but this is a good alternative. It is easier to schedule and I can do it with the kids awake (probably just Hailey for right now...certainly not with Kara). For now I feel pretty good about it. There's a lot of options so I can try other programs too. They update them pretty frequently.
Wednesday - Ran 2 miles
I am also recording my moods on this blog as well. Been struggling with off and on anxiety for the past few weeks. Going to see Dr. Chong today. Really felt upbeat and good until around 11 AM. Then felt absolutely frazzled. I think this is why I am going to keep running during Rob's lunch and not switch to mornings. I NEED that break in the day. The 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM time slot is crazy and chaotic.
Run went well. Much better than Monday. Still don't feel as strong, but that will come. I just ran to Holder and back along Liberty. It was nice the weather was over 40 today and the rain minimal.
Very sore from yoga! Holy cow--abs hurt! I guess it worked.
Thursday & Friday - Rest
Was planning on taking Thursday off. Was not planning on taking Friday off. Running errands on Friday took forever and the house did not get cleaned. We had the Council Party at night. I had to clean in the afternoon. No time to run. Oh well. I guess that is the way it goes.
Saturday - Ran 2 miles
I ran a new route around the neighborhood that kept me more on back roads versus Liberty Street. I liked it. More quiet and secluded. The cold air was not as bad and I am getting used to it. Being slightly over 40 degrees makes a difference versus the high 30's. I avoided the rain too. I felt better. I am still not up to where I would like to be with feeling comfortable while I run. I still feel sluggish. But I'll get there. I enjoyed it more today and did not feel like I was pushing myself to finish only two miles.
Monday - 2 mile run
So tough! Amazing I ran 26 miles a month ago and had a brutal 2 miler. I wish I would not have taken so much time off. I also wish that I would have done SOMETHING during those four weeks. Especially with all the holiday eating. A little more challenging with no gym membership, but even walking or exercise videos would have been better. I miss the gym. But I really wanted to take Animal Science this semester and we had to move some money around. I always knew if we had to make budget cuts, the gym membership would be one of the first things to go.
Anyway I just ran my regular 2 mile loop and it hurt. Mostly side aches, chest aches, and general fatigue. I am not used to the cold air. It was hard to breathe. I don't know how I trained for the Riverbank run two winters in a row doing 100% of my running outside in cold, snow, and ice. Oregon is not as cold, but it's been a chilly week here.
But getting back into running after a break is always tough. The first run in always the worst. It only gets better from there. I know within a few weeks, I'll feel much stronger than I did today.
Tuesday - Yoga - 50 minutes
I did the YogaWorks Slim and Fit on the On Demand cable. Hailey actually did the last 15 minutes with me. Last time I tried to do yoga, she kept jumping on me and was a huge distraction. This time I set up a little area for her and told her she could be in the room and do yoga too if she did not jump on me or get on my mat and if she did not keep asking me if it was almost done. She did awesome and I enjoyed having here there for the last fifteen minutes (she was upstairs for the first 35 minutes).
Anyway yoga kicked my butt! It was harder than the Centergy Class I used to go to. It hurt and I was surprised how quickly exhausted I got! I am not crazy about exercising in my family room or using On Demand/DVDs. I like the group aspect and going to the gym, but this is a good alternative. It is easier to schedule and I can do it with the kids awake (probably just Hailey for right now...certainly not with Kara). For now I feel pretty good about it. There's a lot of options so I can try other programs too. They update them pretty frequently.
Wednesday - Ran 2 miles
I am also recording my moods on this blog as well. Been struggling with off and on anxiety for the past few weeks. Going to see Dr. Chong today. Really felt upbeat and good until around 11 AM. Then felt absolutely frazzled. I think this is why I am going to keep running during Rob's lunch and not switch to mornings. I NEED that break in the day. The 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM time slot is crazy and chaotic.
Run went well. Much better than Monday. Still don't feel as strong, but that will come. I just ran to Holder and back along Liberty. It was nice the weather was over 40 today and the rain minimal.
Very sore from yoga! Holy cow--abs hurt! I guess it worked.
Thursday & Friday - Rest
Was planning on taking Thursday off. Was not planning on taking Friday off. Running errands on Friday took forever and the house did not get cleaned. We had the Council Party at night. I had to clean in the afternoon. No time to run. Oh well. I guess that is the way it goes.
Saturday - Ran 2 miles
I ran a new route around the neighborhood that kept me more on back roads versus Liberty Street. I liked it. More quiet and secluded. The cold air was not as bad and I am getting used to it. Being slightly over 40 degrees makes a difference versus the high 30's. I avoided the rain too. I felt better. I am still not up to where I would like to be with feeling comfortable while I run. I still feel sluggish. But I'll get there. I enjoyed it more today and did not feel like I was pushing myself to finish only two miles.
Sunday - Rest
I am only going to run three days a week until February. Then I will increase it to four. Right now I like the idea of just three days until I am actually training for something.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sluggish Running
I meant to take two weeks off. Well that turned into four. I guess I can blame the holidays and the crazy schedule. We did a lot these last two weeks. Rob has worked extra hours in the day along with leading extra services. I also dealt with some pretty extreme mood swings. I have always been someone who is more "up" in good times and "border line depressed" in struggling times. On Sunday and Monday it was so strong, I felt at times I could hardly function. I worried about the effect it was having on Rob and the kids. I felt anxious and "unsafe" like I needed Rob to be home with me (which is unrealistic). It is related to hormones. It has gotten more extreme in the past few months. I know if I just hang on, it will be gone in a few days. I was exactly right. It's always 2-3 really, really bad days. I am not sure what I'm going to do about it. Because it was a really, really bad two days. I just don't want that every single month. I am leaning towards some natural methods I learned in counseling about fifteen years ago. I think I am going to see my OB to just understand what my options are.
Anyway this was a huge reason why I did not run on Monday. I was planning on running during Rob's lunch. Then with us being at the coast and the New Years Eve events, it makes the most sense to start up after all that is over. I think I can do it this time. I do miss running. The break was nice and much needed, but it's time to get moving again.
Anyway this was a huge reason why I did not run on Monday. I was planning on running during Rob's lunch. Then with us being at the coast and the New Years Eve events, it makes the most sense to start up after all that is over. I think I can do it this time. I do miss running. The break was nice and much needed, but it's time to get moving again.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Marathon!!
Wow I did it! It is still setting in that I completed my second marathon. What a totally different (and better!) experience than four years ago. I learned so much after I ran Portland. I set new goals I was able to achieve this time around. It was a pretty amazing weekend and one I will never forget. My final time was 4:22:00. My mile pace was around 10:04.
At first when I thought about running a marathon this fall, I wanted the whole family involved. It was important for me to see Rob and all three kids as I crossed the finish line. I wanted them there in their Team Winter shirts cheering for me. They were my number one supporters throughout this whole process. The more we looked at different marathons in the Pacific Northwest, the more we realized this was not possible. Rob mentioned the idea of me taking a trip by myself to Sacramento. I am always talking about how I never get any "alone time." The California International Marathon offered free shuttle to the starting line from area motels. The Ramada Inn in Discovery Park also offered free shuttle from the finish line, convention, center and airport. I could easily do the whole trip without renting a car. I scoped out the map and Sacramento looked fairly easy to get around. The marathon course looked doable. It was only my second marathon so I did not want anything too hilly. It seemed perfect.
I flew out on Saturday and six people sitting around me were all running the CIM too. The guy sitting next to me was an experienced marathoner hoping to qualify for Boston. I appreciated talking to seasoned runners the whole weekend. I never felt like I was a "true runner" until now. I was a high school track drop out. My freshmen year at Calvin, a girl on my floor encouraged me to train for a 5K. My response was, "3 miles. Wow, I could never run 3 miles!" And even after I ran Portland in 2006, I thought my marathon days were short lived and over. It is a wonderful feeling to talk with these fellow runners and feel like I am part of something. There is much I can learn from them too.
I took the city bus from the airport the the Convention center downtown. I was impressed how well I did venturing around an unfamilar city. I picked up my packet and spent a little time exploring the expo. I had lunch at Wolfgang Puck express in the expo and finished reading a book I started on the airplane. It was the first time in I don't know how long that I LOVED to be myself. I craved the alone time and I soaked it all up. I left the Convention center and checked into my motel. I did a quick two mile run on a bike path in back of my motel. I was a little leary about how safe the area was. I saw some possibly homeless men or drifters wandering around and it made me a little uncomfortable. The sun was beginning to set. I loved the colors on the trees and the river. Plus the warm air was wonderful. I ate dinner at a restaurant next to the hotel and ordered pasta. It was not great, but it was not terrible either. I read more of my book and noticed all the runners venturing in. It was awesome to see many people like me...30 or 40 somethings who took a weekend away leaving their kids with their spouses to come run. Some came with groups of friends or family, but there were a lot of people like me who came alone.
Surprisingly I was pretty calm and excited about running. The night before I ran Portland I was an absolute mess. This time I watched a movie and read more of my book. It was relaxing. I was able to fall asleep around 9 PM. I awoke a couple times in the night. I was a little concerned my cough in my throat turned into a sinus headache. It was in and out. I did not feel it all night. I awoke around 4:30 AM to runners getting up and walking around outside. I got on the bus at 5 AM in front of the hotel. Our bus was jam packed with runners. There was no free seats and tons of people had to stand. I ended up sitting next to a chatty girl from Coos Bay, Oregon. She talked the whole entire trip to Folsom and even told me I could ask to her "Shut up" if she was being annoying. It was a good distraction. My nerves were starting to act up and I was concerned about my sinus head ache. I was still coughing as well. She was also trying to qualify for Boston and shared some good running tips. I found her after the race back at our motel and she did qualify.
We got to Folsom around 6:15 AM. It was pretty dark and you could not see very much. The portapotty line was massively long. By the time I used the bathroom and turned in my sweat bag, I had about fifteen minutes until the start. I decied to join a pace team. In Portland my pace was all over the pace. This was the major reason why I hit the wall at Mile #19. My goal was to get around 4:15 - 4:25 so I joined the 4:15 team. I figured if I could keep up with them most of the way, I could beat my time. The pace leaders seemed really upbeat and chatty. That would get me through the race.
The gun went off and I had that feeling I always get when I am racing. I feel like yelling "Ahhh! I am running a marathon!" The sun was starting to come up and some of us realized it was going to get warmer. We were all overdressed. We were told how cold it was the year before. So many people regretting their long sleeve shirts. I was wearing my short sleeve Team Winter shirt with my blue long sleeve shirt under it. I figured I could change in one of the port-a-potties if I got too hot. I was keeping up fine with the pace team. We were running through more a rural area passing cows and farmland.
By around Mile #8 I really started to feel warm. I felt pretty uncomfortable. I also felt like my pace was too quick and I would not be able to continue the 9:40 miles. I was hydrating as much as I could. I was not sure what to do. I tried to talk to people to distract me. I found whenever I talked, I felt like I had to cough. My sinus head ache was going in and out again. I am so used to running alone that the team leaders were almost distracting. I could not get into "the zone" I can usually break into it by this point. At the halfway point, I ducked behind a storage shed and took off my shirts. I put my short sleeve shirt on and tied my long sleeve shirt around my waist. Instantly I felt way more comfortable. What a big difference! I lost the pace team and was not sure I would be able to catch up to them. As long as I stayed in between the 4:15 team and 4:30 team, I would beat my time. That was my new goal. I figured the 4:15 pace might be too much for me. My sinus head ache was gone. I think it was due to being too warm.
Around Mile #14 we started running through all these little cute communities. There were little shops and people cheering along the side of the road. I was able to get "into the zone" and my pace dropped to about 10 minute miles. I felt way more comfortable and knew I could continue. The gu and Ultima helped so much. I was thankful I had trained with both. By Mile #19, I was absolutely pumped that I was not totally dead. I COULD KEEP RUNNING! I walked through the aid stations and probably 30 seconds to a minute after the aid stations. It was almost more work to stop and start again so I ran as much as I could. My pace got a little slower by about 5-10 seconds, but I was averaging 10 minute miles.
As we approached downtown, the crowd started to get larger. The last two miles were grueling. When are we there? Are we getting any closer? I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. My form was starting to get sloppy, but I wanted to finish as strong as I could. I was really excited when I crossed the finish and I saw my gun time was 4:25! I shaved almost fifteen minutes off my Portland time. I felt so much stronger too! When I finished Portland, I felt like an absolute wreck. I swore I never wanted to do it again. This time I was so pumped. I had several post marathon conversation with people about what marathons I wanted to try in the future.
The rest of the weekend was very relaxing and included a nap, more reading time. a short walk, and I watched a documentary. So nice to have that alone time. In my current phase of life, I never get it. Or on a very rare occassion.
I would love to do this again in another year and a half or two years if I am able. It takes a lot for Rob and I am forever grateful for all his support. I really could not do it without him and my finisher medal is partially his. It really is a team effort and he is absolutely amazing in all he does for me. He has taught me to have an attitude of "feeling blessed" not guilty.
I will continue this blog, but I will not update it as often. At this point I am seriously considering doing the Eugene Half Marathon in May. It is part of the Eugene Marathon weekend. I could probably do the full, but it is more of a timing issue if anything with the long runs. Team Winter will be at the event and I would love to do an actual race with some other Team Winter participants. I think Winter herself is doing the half. Right now I am going to take two full weeks off from all exercise. Then I would like to get back into Rob's ab workouts he does in karate. They are brutal and not fun at all, but they really work. It is only about 10-15 minutes of torture. Then I will run outside about three times a week. If it works to do Eugene, I will start training in February. Rob and the kids should be able to watch me do Eugene as he would be off on that Sunday.
I still think about the duoathlon or triathlon idea. It is going to be awhile before I can do that as I don't have a good bike and would need to book a couple more swim lessons. I might look into the local running club. It sounds crazy, but I need to learn how to run with other people. It might help with pushing myself more and pacing.
I loved traveling alone and would not have it any other way. I do sometimes wish I had "a running friend" or someone to go to races with. Trena fulfilled that role for a short while, but she moved to Hawaii. Most of my friends and family members who run are in the Midwest. So maybe the running club might help with that. Or maybe running is my "alone time." Since I am so extroverted and around children all the time, I am hardly ever alone. Maybe running fills that space inside of me.
At first when I thought about running a marathon this fall, I wanted the whole family involved. It was important for me to see Rob and all three kids as I crossed the finish line. I wanted them there in their Team Winter shirts cheering for me. They were my number one supporters throughout this whole process. The more we looked at different marathons in the Pacific Northwest, the more we realized this was not possible. Rob mentioned the idea of me taking a trip by myself to Sacramento. I am always talking about how I never get any "alone time." The California International Marathon offered free shuttle to the starting line from area motels. The Ramada Inn in Discovery Park also offered free shuttle from the finish line, convention, center and airport. I could easily do the whole trip without renting a car. I scoped out the map and Sacramento looked fairly easy to get around. The marathon course looked doable. It was only my second marathon so I did not want anything too hilly. It seemed perfect.
I flew out on Saturday and six people sitting around me were all running the CIM too. The guy sitting next to me was an experienced marathoner hoping to qualify for Boston. I appreciated talking to seasoned runners the whole weekend. I never felt like I was a "true runner" until now. I was a high school track drop out. My freshmen year at Calvin, a girl on my floor encouraged me to train for a 5K. My response was, "3 miles. Wow, I could never run 3 miles!" And even after I ran Portland in 2006, I thought my marathon days were short lived and over. It is a wonderful feeling to talk with these fellow runners and feel like I am part of something. There is much I can learn from them too.
I took the city bus from the airport the the Convention center downtown. I was impressed how well I did venturing around an unfamilar city. I picked up my packet and spent a little time exploring the expo. I had lunch at Wolfgang Puck express in the expo and finished reading a book I started on the airplane. It was the first time in I don't know how long that I LOVED to be myself. I craved the alone time and I soaked it all up. I left the Convention center and checked into my motel. I did a quick two mile run on a bike path in back of my motel. I was a little leary about how safe the area was. I saw some possibly homeless men or drifters wandering around and it made me a little uncomfortable. The sun was beginning to set. I loved the colors on the trees and the river. Plus the warm air was wonderful. I ate dinner at a restaurant next to the hotel and ordered pasta. It was not great, but it was not terrible either. I read more of my book and noticed all the runners venturing in. It was awesome to see many people like me...30 or 40 somethings who took a weekend away leaving their kids with their spouses to come run. Some came with groups of friends or family, but there were a lot of people like me who came alone.
Surprisingly I was pretty calm and excited about running. The night before I ran Portland I was an absolute mess. This time I watched a movie and read more of my book. It was relaxing. I was able to fall asleep around 9 PM. I awoke a couple times in the night. I was a little concerned my cough in my throat turned into a sinus headache. It was in and out. I did not feel it all night. I awoke around 4:30 AM to runners getting up and walking around outside. I got on the bus at 5 AM in front of the hotel. Our bus was jam packed with runners. There was no free seats and tons of people had to stand. I ended up sitting next to a chatty girl from Coos Bay, Oregon. She talked the whole entire trip to Folsom and even told me I could ask to her "Shut up" if she was being annoying. It was a good distraction. My nerves were starting to act up and I was concerned about my sinus head ache. I was still coughing as well. She was also trying to qualify for Boston and shared some good running tips. I found her after the race back at our motel and she did qualify.
We got to Folsom around 6:15 AM. It was pretty dark and you could not see very much. The portapotty line was massively long. By the time I used the bathroom and turned in my sweat bag, I had about fifteen minutes until the start. I decied to join a pace team. In Portland my pace was all over the pace. This was the major reason why I hit the wall at Mile #19. My goal was to get around 4:15 - 4:25 so I joined the 4:15 team. I figured if I could keep up with them most of the way, I could beat my time. The pace leaders seemed really upbeat and chatty. That would get me through the race.
The gun went off and I had that feeling I always get when I am racing. I feel like yelling "Ahhh! I am running a marathon!" The sun was starting to come up and some of us realized it was going to get warmer. We were all overdressed. We were told how cold it was the year before. So many people regretting their long sleeve shirts. I was wearing my short sleeve Team Winter shirt with my blue long sleeve shirt under it. I figured I could change in one of the port-a-potties if I got too hot. I was keeping up fine with the pace team. We were running through more a rural area passing cows and farmland.
By around Mile #8 I really started to feel warm. I felt pretty uncomfortable. I also felt like my pace was too quick and I would not be able to continue the 9:40 miles. I was hydrating as much as I could. I was not sure what to do. I tried to talk to people to distract me. I found whenever I talked, I felt like I had to cough. My sinus head ache was going in and out again. I am so used to running alone that the team leaders were almost distracting. I could not get into "the zone" I can usually break into it by this point. At the halfway point, I ducked behind a storage shed and took off my shirts. I put my short sleeve shirt on and tied my long sleeve shirt around my waist. Instantly I felt way more comfortable. What a big difference! I lost the pace team and was not sure I would be able to catch up to them. As long as I stayed in between the 4:15 team and 4:30 team, I would beat my time. That was my new goal. I figured the 4:15 pace might be too much for me. My sinus head ache was gone. I think it was due to being too warm.
Around Mile #14 we started running through all these little cute communities. There were little shops and people cheering along the side of the road. I was able to get "into the zone" and my pace dropped to about 10 minute miles. I felt way more comfortable and knew I could continue. The gu and Ultima helped so much. I was thankful I had trained with both. By Mile #19, I was absolutely pumped that I was not totally dead. I COULD KEEP RUNNING! I walked through the aid stations and probably 30 seconds to a minute after the aid stations. It was almost more work to stop and start again so I ran as much as I could. My pace got a little slower by about 5-10 seconds, but I was averaging 10 minute miles.
As we approached downtown, the crowd started to get larger. The last two miles were grueling. When are we there? Are we getting any closer? I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. My form was starting to get sloppy, but I wanted to finish as strong as I could. I was really excited when I crossed the finish and I saw my gun time was 4:25! I shaved almost fifteen minutes off my Portland time. I felt so much stronger too! When I finished Portland, I felt like an absolute wreck. I swore I never wanted to do it again. This time I was so pumped. I had several post marathon conversation with people about what marathons I wanted to try in the future.
The rest of the weekend was very relaxing and included a nap, more reading time. a short walk, and I watched a documentary. So nice to have that alone time. In my current phase of life, I never get it. Or on a very rare occassion.
I would love to do this again in another year and a half or two years if I am able. It takes a lot for Rob and I am forever grateful for all his support. I really could not do it without him and my finisher medal is partially his. It really is a team effort and he is absolutely amazing in all he does for me. He has taught me to have an attitude of "feeling blessed" not guilty.
I will continue this blog, but I will not update it as often. At this point I am seriously considering doing the Eugene Half Marathon in May. It is part of the Eugene Marathon weekend. I could probably do the full, but it is more of a timing issue if anything with the long runs. Team Winter will be at the event and I would love to do an actual race with some other Team Winter participants. I think Winter herself is doing the half. Right now I am going to take two full weeks off from all exercise. Then I would like to get back into Rob's ab workouts he does in karate. They are brutal and not fun at all, but they really work. It is only about 10-15 minutes of torture. Then I will run outside about three times a week. If it works to do Eugene, I will start training in February. Rob and the kids should be able to watch me do Eugene as he would be off on that Sunday.
I still think about the duoathlon or triathlon idea. It is going to be awhile before I can do that as I don't have a good bike and would need to book a couple more swim lessons. I might look into the local running club. It sounds crazy, but I need to learn how to run with other people. It might help with pushing myself more and pacing.
I loved traveling alone and would not have it any other way. I do sometimes wish I had "a running friend" or someone to go to races with. Trena fulfilled that role for a short while, but she moved to Hawaii. Most of my friends and family members who run are in the Midwest. So maybe the running club might help with that. Or maybe running is my "alone time." Since I am so extroverted and around children all the time, I am hardly ever alone. Maybe running fills that space inside of me.
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