In the past few weeks I have dealt with some great experiences like getting away with Rob to see Billy Joel in concert, Christmas parties, and seeing the kids Christmas programs. On the flip side, I have dealt with some high anxiety that has not waned since I have been on Christmas Break. In some ways it has gotten worse. My brain is still stuck in this fight and flight mode and I fluctuate quickly from a relaxed state to a jittery, jumpy, highly emotional state. The fact I recognize it helps. I am going to take some steps today and the rest of this week to handle it positively.
I really slacked on workouts the last couple of weeks. That hindered me and did not help my anxiety. When it reaches a certain threshold, I lose motivation. Depression starts to set in. My first counselor back in the mid 90's felt my depression was caused by the anxiety. Anxiety comes first and when I fail to work through it, I get very discouraged and depressed. My goal for this week is to get back into it.
Monday = Ran 4.53 miles with an average pace of 10:03. We ran our regular route around Ewald...not too many hills. It was a great run and I felt like I really needed to be outside.
Tuesday = Ran 5.06 miles with an average pace of 9:43. We did more rolling hills this morning and my knee started to ache on the downhill around three and a half miles. It went in and out but flared the most on the downhill. I stretched and did yoga last night and have not done so in awhile. My legs felt tight and sore this morning so I am not surprised. It hurt but I could push through the pain. I could have kept running more had I really wanted to. I am going to keep running, stretching, rolling. I see the doctor end of January so I can get a referral to a PT clinic if I feel like I need it. I don't know really know what I am dealing with it. I always passed it off as IT syndrome. The symptoms of IT syndrome seems quite different. When I turn my foot inward (because it naturally turns outward) it seems to improve my form and I run better.
Wednesday = Swam approximately 27 laps which is about 3/4 of a mile. It felt great to be back in the pool and have a group to swim with. I was actually on time for once and the first person there. I was pretty slow, but it still felt good to swim and get a decent workout in. Also had a good talk with Counselor R who thinks I am not constantly dealing with anxiety. Some of it is in fact anxiety. But I have been using the catch-all anxiety to describe everything. I have also been dealing with grief of missing being with the kids after school and being around for some of their events. I have been dealing with burn out from my job and other involvements. I have faced guilt from not going to Bible Study. I hit Christmas Break and dealt with fatigue. I am also dealing with the unpredictable behavior of having an adolescent in the house and honestly another one who is far off from that stage. It helped to piece it apart and get a better perspective on what is going on.
Thursday = Group Ride. I love going to Mr. F's Ride Class. I can only go on school breaks and in the summer months. It was a great workout and I love the way he teaches it.
Friday = Rest!
Saturday = Group Power. I am really glad I pushed myself to Power because I almost talked myself out of it. It hurt especially my shoulders, chest, and calves. I figured it would. I have not been consistent with Power since the summer...and really since last spring.
Sunday = Ran 6.0 miles with an average pace of 9:53. Great Christmas Eve run! I ran around 3:30 PM and ran through the Battlecreek neighborhood. There was a slight mist in the air and it was rainy at times. It felt great to be outside. I had zero pain even on the hills. It was a blessing to run. I miss the regular exercise.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Saturday, November 25, 2017
It is ok to not be ok.
It is OK to not be OK. That was one of the catch phrases from Pastor Borst's talk at Camp Calvin this summer. It has forever stuck with me this fall. I heard it at a time when I was doing quite well and basking in a summer sabbatical. I had come off a wonderful and renewing trip to Prescott, Arizona and fun filled week here at home with family visiting. The past few months have been hard and there are one too many moments when I am simply not OK.
I would say work is about seventy-five percent of my anxiety right now. It has been an adjustment working with at risk children in a work environment that has its own set of challenges. When we lived in Gary, Indiana for a year, I worked for a small business in the inner city. I remember going into work each day thinking, "I wonder what crazy thing is going to happen today." It was always something. When the police came in one of my last few weeks of work, it seemed normal. There was always some kind of drama.
It's not quite that extreme where I work now and my co-workers are more professional, but I feel like there are changes and new challenges thrown at us daily.
I believe I am where God wants me to be. Most of the time I enjoy the work and really appreciate the children. I work pretty well with my team and my confidence has increased. I don't feel so much like "the new kid" anymore. But the changes and the unknowns affect my anxiety. For instance I will be working with new teachers soon. I don't know who they are and I don't anything about them. I feel like I understand my current teacher and am finally adjusted to working with her--and now I will be working with someone else. And I don't know when. It could on Monday. It could be in January.
I am in a long term sub position. When will my position end? It could be next week. It could be March. It might become a regular position I can apply for. It could be I have to be sent to another site. I may not know until last minute. The "planner" in me sometimes feels out of sorts.
I also have anxiety because I don't know what kind of day I am going to have. I have three challenging children in my classroom. I don't know if they are going to be at school on a given day (though I really just assume they will be). I don't know what type of day they are going to have. Their bad days affect the whole class. It can make what would be a normal orderly day into pure chaos. Sometimes I feel equipped to handle them and other days I feel pushed over the edge.
Even though I don't take it personally when a preschooler talks back to me or worse is aggressive to me--it still hurts. It does strike at my emotions and I have to remain strong and deal with the behavior. It hurts a little more when my co-workers act out in frustration and make false accusations. I chalk it up as stress and misunderstandings. Everyone handles their stress differently. 9 times out 10 our team is good about owning mistakes and apologizing. It still hurts to get criticized. Sometimes I don't know what to do with that hurt. Even if I bypass it, it still seems like it is lingering somewhere.
Because I come home and work on my early childhood classes, I feel like I cannot fully escape it at home. My mind races about work or early childhood classes. I dream about work. If I wake up at 3 AM, it is usually the first thing that pops into my mind. Thankfully I can fall back asleep most of the time. My anxiety has decreased since early October, but it is still there. It is probably too high.
I know the kids are doing fine, but I miss seeing them after school. Sometimes I feel like they need me home during those hours even though Rob often checks in. I would not go back to doing in home day care and I don't miss it at all. Neither do they. Looking back over last year, I realized I was dealing with boredom. There were hard days that were stress filled. I hated going from 7:15 to 5 with little to no break. That is more tiring than my days at my new job. I was feeling withdrawn, lonely, and not very challenged. I don't miss being at home while they are at school. No one misses all the day care stuff around the house.
I worry about my kids especially the oldest who is going through some friend drama right now. The situation really stinks because it with someone she has been friends with for a long time. This friend is going through a tough time and choosing to be nasty and condescending. Some of her actions are close to bullying. I am sure the holidays are making it worse. I know my daughter is gaining some valuable lessons and learning to stand up for herself, but I hate the fact she is being treated this way.
I had to stop going to Bible Study which was a very difficult decision. I miss it and I know my spiritual life is suffering because of it. It is hard to get out in the evenings when I am not home until 5:30. I have little to no time to do the homework. Because my anxiety is bad right now, my mind races during the video portion. I get maybe 15-20 percent of it. I get really jumpy and jittery. The last time I was there I had to leave right away and I cried the whole way home.
My exercise routine has been up and down. I got two GI bugs--one in mid September and one about two weeks later in October. Thankfully I only missed one day of work in September. I lost five pounds from stress. I am not sure what I weigh right now. I would not be surprised if I gained weight since then because I am eating more again. I get stomach pains from stress off and on. Rob and I had an argument on Tuesday night and I had a bad panic attack. I feel like it took a couple days to get back to normal.
I had a mole removed off my left arm a few weeks ago. It started with a doctor's appointment to my regular doctor in July. I asked him to look at a questionable mole on my right arm. He referred me to a dermatologist. They looked at my whole body and determined the mole on my right arm was fine. They did not like one on my left arm. They removed the top layer. Two weeks later they called and said it was not skin cancer but could turn into cancer and should get removed. They removed more and said I could not do any kind of cardio workouts for five days or so.
I developed eczema on my lower right arm from the stitches and dealt with prickly inflamed skin for days. It is still not clear. I had to go in again to get the stitches removed and get a prescription for the eczema. I have gotten moles removed before and it could all be done in one or two appointments with my family doctor. Now all the referrals and extra appointments make it a big headache. I have to go back in three months and I am not sure why. I was supposed to have an annual physical in November but I rescheduled it to January. With all these skin appointments plus I had a dentist and counseling appointment--it was becoming crazy trying to schedule everything.
Last week I was going to start exercising regularly again. I ran on Monday alone and Tuesday with a friend. Both runs were really good. Despite tight muscles, my pace was the same as it always has been. It felt good to get outside and exercise. I ran Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving with Kara. She did amazing. It was her first 5k. We did not get a ton of training runs in, but she has the endurance and willpower. It was fun to do it with her.
I need to be more consistent next week and the weeks that follow. Training for something might motivate me but I was not going to do any big races until the spring.
I also need to take better care of myself. I might need to do some of mental health exercises I did back when I was in a cognitive therapy class. I will probably need to talk to my counselor again soon. I need to continue to learn how to leave work at work. I really don't want to up my dosage on my medication, but I will if I need to.
None of us were ever promised an easy life. I should not expect everything to be smooth sailing and drama free. We go through tough times and have seasons of struggle. I know I will be OK even though I do not feel OK.
I would say work is about seventy-five percent of my anxiety right now. It has been an adjustment working with at risk children in a work environment that has its own set of challenges. When we lived in Gary, Indiana for a year, I worked for a small business in the inner city. I remember going into work each day thinking, "I wonder what crazy thing is going to happen today." It was always something. When the police came in one of my last few weeks of work, it seemed normal. There was always some kind of drama.
It's not quite that extreme where I work now and my co-workers are more professional, but I feel like there are changes and new challenges thrown at us daily.
I believe I am where God wants me to be. Most of the time I enjoy the work and really appreciate the children. I work pretty well with my team and my confidence has increased. I don't feel so much like "the new kid" anymore. But the changes and the unknowns affect my anxiety. For instance I will be working with new teachers soon. I don't know who they are and I don't anything about them. I feel like I understand my current teacher and am finally adjusted to working with her--and now I will be working with someone else. And I don't know when. It could on Monday. It could be in January.
I am in a long term sub position. When will my position end? It could be next week. It could be March. It might become a regular position I can apply for. It could be I have to be sent to another site. I may not know until last minute. The "planner" in me sometimes feels out of sorts.
I also have anxiety because I don't know what kind of day I am going to have. I have three challenging children in my classroom. I don't know if they are going to be at school on a given day (though I really just assume they will be). I don't know what type of day they are going to have. Their bad days affect the whole class. It can make what would be a normal orderly day into pure chaos. Sometimes I feel equipped to handle them and other days I feel pushed over the edge.
Even though I don't take it personally when a preschooler talks back to me or worse is aggressive to me--it still hurts. It does strike at my emotions and I have to remain strong and deal with the behavior. It hurts a little more when my co-workers act out in frustration and make false accusations. I chalk it up as stress and misunderstandings. Everyone handles their stress differently. 9 times out 10 our team is good about owning mistakes and apologizing. It still hurts to get criticized. Sometimes I don't know what to do with that hurt. Even if I bypass it, it still seems like it is lingering somewhere.
Because I come home and work on my early childhood classes, I feel like I cannot fully escape it at home. My mind races about work or early childhood classes. I dream about work. If I wake up at 3 AM, it is usually the first thing that pops into my mind. Thankfully I can fall back asleep most of the time. My anxiety has decreased since early October, but it is still there. It is probably too high.
I know the kids are doing fine, but I miss seeing them after school. Sometimes I feel like they need me home during those hours even though Rob often checks in. I would not go back to doing in home day care and I don't miss it at all. Neither do they. Looking back over last year, I realized I was dealing with boredom. There were hard days that were stress filled. I hated going from 7:15 to 5 with little to no break. That is more tiring than my days at my new job. I was feeling withdrawn, lonely, and not very challenged. I don't miss being at home while they are at school. No one misses all the day care stuff around the house.
I worry about my kids especially the oldest who is going through some friend drama right now. The situation really stinks because it with someone she has been friends with for a long time. This friend is going through a tough time and choosing to be nasty and condescending. Some of her actions are close to bullying. I am sure the holidays are making it worse. I know my daughter is gaining some valuable lessons and learning to stand up for herself, but I hate the fact she is being treated this way.
I had to stop going to Bible Study which was a very difficult decision. I miss it and I know my spiritual life is suffering because of it. It is hard to get out in the evenings when I am not home until 5:30. I have little to no time to do the homework. Because my anxiety is bad right now, my mind races during the video portion. I get maybe 15-20 percent of it. I get really jumpy and jittery. The last time I was there I had to leave right away and I cried the whole way home.
My exercise routine has been up and down. I got two GI bugs--one in mid September and one about two weeks later in October. Thankfully I only missed one day of work in September. I lost five pounds from stress. I am not sure what I weigh right now. I would not be surprised if I gained weight since then because I am eating more again. I get stomach pains from stress off and on. Rob and I had an argument on Tuesday night and I had a bad panic attack. I feel like it took a couple days to get back to normal.
I had a mole removed off my left arm a few weeks ago. It started with a doctor's appointment to my regular doctor in July. I asked him to look at a questionable mole on my right arm. He referred me to a dermatologist. They looked at my whole body and determined the mole on my right arm was fine. They did not like one on my left arm. They removed the top layer. Two weeks later they called and said it was not skin cancer but could turn into cancer and should get removed. They removed more and said I could not do any kind of cardio workouts for five days or so.
I developed eczema on my lower right arm from the stitches and dealt with prickly inflamed skin for days. It is still not clear. I had to go in again to get the stitches removed and get a prescription for the eczema. I have gotten moles removed before and it could all be done in one or two appointments with my family doctor. Now all the referrals and extra appointments make it a big headache. I have to go back in three months and I am not sure why. I was supposed to have an annual physical in November but I rescheduled it to January. With all these skin appointments plus I had a dentist and counseling appointment--it was becoming crazy trying to schedule everything.
Last week I was going to start exercising regularly again. I ran on Monday alone and Tuesday with a friend. Both runs were really good. Despite tight muscles, my pace was the same as it always has been. It felt good to get outside and exercise. I ran Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving with Kara. She did amazing. It was her first 5k. We did not get a ton of training runs in, but she has the endurance and willpower. It was fun to do it with her.
I need to be more consistent next week and the weeks that follow. Training for something might motivate me but I was not going to do any big races until the spring.
I also need to take better care of myself. I might need to do some of mental health exercises I did back when I was in a cognitive therapy class. I will probably need to talk to my counselor again soon. I need to continue to learn how to leave work at work. I really don't want to up my dosage on my medication, but I will if I need to.
None of us were ever promised an easy life. I should not expect everything to be smooth sailing and drama free. We go through tough times and have seasons of struggle. I know I will be OK even though I do not feel OK.
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Rough Fall Season
I am not going to lie. This fall has not been easy. Rob was saying yesterday how sometimes you simply have to accept that. Some seasons are harder than others.
I started a new job in mid September. I suspected it would be a somewhat rough transition. I am still taking early childhood education classes on top of everything. It has been rough. It is hard to be an amateur and not know what I am doing. It is humbling and yet sometimes anxiety ridden to be corrected throughout the day. As lonely as in home day care was, working with a team of differing personalities and backgrounds has its challenges too. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence...it is just different grass.
I don't miss in home day care and I would not go back to it if given the opportunity. There are far too many things I am thankful to be done with. I don't feel totally comfortable in this new job either, but I need to continue in it. I see potential and there are bright moments among the chaos. I am feeling more connected with the kids each day...even if they drive me crazy sometimes.
I have gotten two stomach bugs in a three week period...the first was worse than the second. The first one I had to miss a day of work. The second one I went into work anyway and pushed myself to get through the day. I lost over five pounds. Now that my body is getting back into normalcy, I am craving pop, sweets, and fast food. My exercise routine has not been normal. I have had a great week where I workout 5-6 times. One Sunday I put in over eight miles running. Then I have a week like last week where I ran once...and did nothing else.
My IT band has been bothering me again. I am finding with stretching, yoga, and rolling...it keeps the pain from coming while I run. Again I have not been consistent with that. I had hoped to do a half marathon last weekend, but decided not to once my knee started hurting again. I am thankful I did not do it because last weekend was when I had my second GI bug. Running would have been rough.
I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain races with things from my new job. Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but the other night I was unsuccessful. This weekend I was extremely tired that I slept in until 8:45 both Saturday & Sunday going to bed between 10 and 11. I took an afternoon nap on Sunday. I am probably sleeping too much because I feel fatigued and depleted energy wise.
I need to take better care of myself this week and exercise regularly. I need to eat more during the day and not rely heavily on the food we are provided. Often I am exhorting much energy helping the kids that I eat very little. I need to eat a healthy snack around 10 AM and 3 PM. I carry my water bottle with me around work and that seems to help.
Here's to a new week!!
I started a new job in mid September. I suspected it would be a somewhat rough transition. I am still taking early childhood education classes on top of everything. It has been rough. It is hard to be an amateur and not know what I am doing. It is humbling and yet sometimes anxiety ridden to be corrected throughout the day. As lonely as in home day care was, working with a team of differing personalities and backgrounds has its challenges too. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence...it is just different grass.
I don't miss in home day care and I would not go back to it if given the opportunity. There are far too many things I am thankful to be done with. I don't feel totally comfortable in this new job either, but I need to continue in it. I see potential and there are bright moments among the chaos. I am feeling more connected with the kids each day...even if they drive me crazy sometimes.
I have gotten two stomach bugs in a three week period...the first was worse than the second. The first one I had to miss a day of work. The second one I went into work anyway and pushed myself to get through the day. I lost over five pounds. Now that my body is getting back into normalcy, I am craving pop, sweets, and fast food. My exercise routine has not been normal. I have had a great week where I workout 5-6 times. One Sunday I put in over eight miles running. Then I have a week like last week where I ran once...and did nothing else.
My IT band has been bothering me again. I am finding with stretching, yoga, and rolling...it keeps the pain from coming while I run. Again I have not been consistent with that. I had hoped to do a half marathon last weekend, but decided not to once my knee started hurting again. I am thankful I did not do it because last weekend was when I had my second GI bug. Running would have been rough.
I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain races with things from my new job. Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but the other night I was unsuccessful. This weekend I was extremely tired that I slept in until 8:45 both Saturday & Sunday going to bed between 10 and 11. I took an afternoon nap on Sunday. I am probably sleeping too much because I feel fatigued and depleted energy wise.
I need to take better care of myself this week and exercise regularly. I need to eat more during the day and not rely heavily on the food we are provided. Often I am exhorting much energy helping the kids that I eat very little. I need to eat a healthy snack around 10 AM and 3 PM. I carry my water bottle with me around work and that seems to help.
Here's to a new week!!
Monday, September 11, 2017
Spring to Summer and Into Fall 2017
My physical body is in fall mode but my mind still feels like it is in summer mode. I can honestly say without exaggeration that Summer 2017 was one of the best summers of my life...and I daresay the best one for our family as well. After some disappointments and struggles from Summer 2016, I am blessed beyond what I expected.
With all our travels, we had very few hiccups. No major plane delays, lost baggage, or car issues. No one got sick. The weather was perfect. Yes, all the heat this summer in Oregon was actually something I welcome. Being a Midwest native, I crave the extreme heat. We had many hours together at a pool and even shared some of that time with dear friends.
My anxiety was very minimal and I learned the art of rest. I think I always viewed it as taking a nap or a day off. But it is much deeper than that. It is a lifestyle and a rhythm I am trying to establish. As I move into the fall and see all the craziness caving in around me, I am realizing that number one I am going to have to remind myself often of the things I learned. And number two we are little counter cultural when it comes to our family's pace--and I am OK with that. I am really trying to own that and not feel self conscious about it.
As for exercise I did quite well this summer. I am thankful I did sign up for the triathlon in the Dalles because sadly it is cancelled due to the Eagle Creek fire. I would not have been able to do it anyway. Exercising while out of town proved to be difficult. I could have made it work if I really wanted to--but it was not worth it to me all the sacrifices with our family's schedule. I was able to pick it right back up when we returned home. I did a mix of running, cycling (indoor and outdoor), and swimming (indoor pool and outdoor pool) this summer with Group Power a couple of times. Plus hiking with the family, tons of walking in DC, New York, and Michigan, and playing with the kids in the pool.
So here are this week's workouts for First Day of School Week!
Monday = Hike approximately 3 miles at Drift Creek Falls near Lincoln City. Beautiful family hike. I especially loved the suspension bridge!
With all our travels, we had very few hiccups. No major plane delays, lost baggage, or car issues. No one got sick. The weather was perfect. Yes, all the heat this summer in Oregon was actually something I welcome. Being a Midwest native, I crave the extreme heat. We had many hours together at a pool and even shared some of that time with dear friends.
My anxiety was very minimal and I learned the art of rest. I think I always viewed it as taking a nap or a day off. But it is much deeper than that. It is a lifestyle and a rhythm I am trying to establish. As I move into the fall and see all the craziness caving in around me, I am realizing that number one I am going to have to remind myself often of the things I learned. And number two we are little counter cultural when it comes to our family's pace--and I am OK with that. I am really trying to own that and not feel self conscious about it.
As for exercise I did quite well this summer. I am thankful I did sign up for the triathlon in the Dalles because sadly it is cancelled due to the Eagle Creek fire. I would not have been able to do it anyway. Exercising while out of town proved to be difficult. I could have made it work if I really wanted to--but it was not worth it to me all the sacrifices with our family's schedule. I was able to pick it right back up when we returned home. I did a mix of running, cycling (indoor and outdoor), and swimming (indoor pool and outdoor pool) this summer with Group Power a couple of times. Plus hiking with the family, tons of walking in DC, New York, and Michigan, and playing with the kids in the pool.
So here are this week's workouts for First Day of School Week!
Monday = Hike approximately 3 miles at Drift Creek Falls near Lincoln City. Beautiful family hike. I especially loved the suspension bridge!
Tuesday = Ran with friend. I went 5.27 miles with an average pace of 9:42. Good first day of school run. Not used to running in the DARK!
Wednesday = Swam with the tri crew. I did not count my laps this time. I was probably at what I normally do (a little less than a mile)
Thursday = Hike at Minto Brown--approximately 1 1/2 hours--4 miles? We did not track our mileage. Rob and I started at the back parking lot by the picnic shelter and hiked all the way to Eola Bend and found a new trail that put us back to river leading back up to the parking lot. It was great to see the new trails they put in this summer. I love the fact you can now run to the outer edge of the park and loop around rather than an out and back.
Friday = Run 5.10 miles with an average pace of 9:40 & Viper class. I ran with the same friend I ran on Tuesday. It was a good run again. I felt like we went at a decent pace. I went to Viper at the gym in the late afternoon. That class is only thirty minutes long but it kicks my butt. Literally. My glutes were extremely sore on Saturday. I could hardly squat down to pick up things off the floor. I love the class though and wish they offered it more. I want to go Viper for awhile instead of Power.
Saturday = Hockey Tournament. I placed a couple of rounds in the tournament, but I subbed in and out for people. So I did not play as much as others. I tried to play intense and push myself. I got a decent workout. I do wish I would have played more this summer and tried a little harder to work on skills, but I felt a little overwhelmed by all the other workouts I was trying to accomplish.
Sunday = Ran 9.35 miles with an average pace of 10:04. The average pace was probably closer to 9:45 or 9:50 because I did deal with lights and stopping to check my map. I mapped the route beforehand and wanted to follow it. I can't trust my phone right now because it keeps crashing and there's no volume. The run itself went very well. I eased right into it and maintained a decent pace. I prayed for each people each mile like I originally planned. The only downside was around Mile #8 my right knee started hurting again. The pain was a little different as it went in and went out. It was on the side but closer to the front...not the back of the knee where I was injured before. Rather than an ongoing piercing pain, it was an intense numbing pain that lasted for a few seconds and went away. I am being intentional about rolling and stretching and I hope this helps. I am only going to see the doctor if it gets significantly worse.
Friday, September 8, 2017
Life After Zults
I wrote this in May and never posted it...
Rob and I recently finished a wellness program called "Zults" through the gym I go to. It was five weeks long and we were part of a nine person team with a team leader. We earned points for our team by participating in different classes, activities, and ultimately gaining muscle mass, losing fat, etc.
At the beginning of the program we were given a meal plan based on an amount of calories per day. We were encouraged to eat 90/10 which means 90 percent of the food on the meal plan and ten percent whatever we want. I was looking forward to the meal planning. This is probably what motivated me the most to sign up for Zults. I need to be told what to eat and when to eat it or maybe more importantly what not to eat.
We were supposed to prep our meals on the weekends and then eat the same breakfast, the same lunch, and the same dinner all week. As we looked over the grocery list, considered the food prep time, and the fact we'd be eating the same meals, we had some reservations about the whole process. I was concerned we were going to be the "anti-Zults" team members. Then I realized we were not being Zults rebels, but instead we were tweaking the program. I work from home and and Rob works next door to home. We see one another throughout the day and make hot breakfast and lunches for one another often. So we did not do much weekend food prep, but made our meals beforehand. We liked the idea of eating fresh food and not meals that had been sitting in the fridge all week.
We also did not eat the same meal all week, but again tweaked the meals to fit our grocery budget and the food we had in the house. We planned our meals to be very similar to the Zults meals so we did not feel like we were cheating at all. Ultimately we felt if anyone is going to learn from a wellness program, they need to learn to make healthy meals without being told what to eat all the time. We felt like we were taking a step beyond Zults prematurely.
I have to say I enjoyed almost all the Zults meals and I am saving all the recipes for future use. I love having Greek yogurt sprinkled with honey and granola and mixed in with berries and bananas for breakfast. Sometimes I put it all on top of a protein pancake instead of butter and syrup. I made an egg dish with kale and quinoa that I know I will make again. I have made a southwest chicken salad several times for lunch that is quite simple but very healthy. We all enjoyed most of the dinners and there were very few complaints...even the turkey burgers which I was very skeptical about.
We will continue to have honey, Greek yogurt, fresh and frozen fruit, chicken, leafy greens, cottage cheese, and fresh vegetables in the house. Our protein consumption increased which I believe increases my energy level and decreases my anxiety.
I was able to give up diet soda and drink mostly water. If this was the only thing I gained from Zults, it was well worth it. I have always struggled with consuming soda and needing it to get through the day. I only had one pop the whole five weeks on Zults. The fact I was driving six loud and rambanctious middle schoolers to and from Tacoma for a track meet, I think I deserved that one Mello Yello at Burger King.
As for exercise, I went hard core the first four weeks. Zults would only allow points for attending classes at the gym. We would receive points by attending four classes for weeks. The instructor would punch a weekly punch card. I wanted to do the four classes a week, but I did not want to give up my workouts with my triathlon friends. So I attempted to do both. Some weeks I did five 5 AM workouts in a row plus an evening and weekend workout. One week I did Group Ride on Monday, ran on Tuesday, swam Wednesday morning and R/30 (similar to Group Ride) Wednesday afternoon, Group Power on Thursday, Group Ride on Friday and ran on Sunday.
I felt like I was keeping the pace. Surprisingly the other areas of my life (my education classes, Bible Study, laundry, housework, kid's activities) flowed together and I did not feel behind. I remember the third week feeling like my life was synchronized even though I had many things going on all at once. Except last week starting around Monday I felt like I was falling off the Zults wagon and I had to majorly slow down my pace. I only ran and went to Power last week. We had more than normal non-Zults meals and even some unhealthy snacks. I can blame female issues and a busy schedule, but I think my body was craving a break. However with the habits I established, I am confident I can continue good eating and exercise next week even though is Zults is over. Although I am not shooting for four classes a week, but instead taking advantage of outside running and cycling.
When I look back at the last five weeks, Zults came at a good time for us. We knew going into April, our lives were going to move faster and we would be juggling more activities. I had hoped to journal throughout Zults about our experience, but my time for anything extra was limited. Hailey and Derek both ran track. I worked at two of the three track meets. Derek continued bi weekly Parkour classes. Kara started soccer and ran in the Awesome 3000. Derek and I ran an obstacle course 5K race. History fair projects times three all had to be completed. My education classes this quarter include more reading and projects. Not to mention I made the final decision to close my day care. I applied for a new job for the fall, interviewed, and was told two days ago I got it! We also had the normal amount of meetings, small group, Book Club, and a few outings with friends. I feel like we needed Zults to help us stay grounded with healthy habits when our stress level was higher.
I did not lose a lot of weight but I was told the number on the scale is not what they base it on. I did lose about two pounds of total fat and my fat mass decreased by four pounds. I did gain almost five pounds of muscle which the trainer was surprised about. He asked if I did extra weight lifting during Zults. I was more regular to Power and increased my weight a little bit. I also think it was from carrying the day care babies as well. He said if I continue to eat the way I did on Zults and exercise the same, I would see a number loss on the scale. I ate terrible this weekend though so I know this is going to take some willpower.
Ideally I would love to do a sprint triathlon mid summer and an olympic distance triathlon late summer or early fall. And then a half marathon in the winter. The triathlon cost is increasing and I don't think I can afford all those races. A big goal I have is to get on my bike and get some good riding time in.
Rob and I recently finished a wellness program called "Zults" through the gym I go to. It was five weeks long and we were part of a nine person team with a team leader. We earned points for our team by participating in different classes, activities, and ultimately gaining muscle mass, losing fat, etc.
At the beginning of the program we were given a meal plan based on an amount of calories per day. We were encouraged to eat 90/10 which means 90 percent of the food on the meal plan and ten percent whatever we want. I was looking forward to the meal planning. This is probably what motivated me the most to sign up for Zults. I need to be told what to eat and when to eat it or maybe more importantly what not to eat.
We were supposed to prep our meals on the weekends and then eat the same breakfast, the same lunch, and the same dinner all week. As we looked over the grocery list, considered the food prep time, and the fact we'd be eating the same meals, we had some reservations about the whole process. I was concerned we were going to be the "anti-Zults" team members. Then I realized we were not being Zults rebels, but instead we were tweaking the program. I work from home and and Rob works next door to home. We see one another throughout the day and make hot breakfast and lunches for one another often. So we did not do much weekend food prep, but made our meals beforehand. We liked the idea of eating fresh food and not meals that had been sitting in the fridge all week.
We also did not eat the same meal all week, but again tweaked the meals to fit our grocery budget and the food we had in the house. We planned our meals to be very similar to the Zults meals so we did not feel like we were cheating at all. Ultimately we felt if anyone is going to learn from a wellness program, they need to learn to make healthy meals without being told what to eat all the time. We felt like we were taking a step beyond Zults prematurely.
I have to say I enjoyed almost all the Zults meals and I am saving all the recipes for future use. I love having Greek yogurt sprinkled with honey and granola and mixed in with berries and bananas for breakfast. Sometimes I put it all on top of a protein pancake instead of butter and syrup. I made an egg dish with kale and quinoa that I know I will make again. I have made a southwest chicken salad several times for lunch that is quite simple but very healthy. We all enjoyed most of the dinners and there were very few complaints...even the turkey burgers which I was very skeptical about.
We will continue to have honey, Greek yogurt, fresh and frozen fruit, chicken, leafy greens, cottage cheese, and fresh vegetables in the house. Our protein consumption increased which I believe increases my energy level and decreases my anxiety.
I was able to give up diet soda and drink mostly water. If this was the only thing I gained from Zults, it was well worth it. I have always struggled with consuming soda and needing it to get through the day. I only had one pop the whole five weeks on Zults. The fact I was driving six loud and rambanctious middle schoolers to and from Tacoma for a track meet, I think I deserved that one Mello Yello at Burger King.
As for exercise, I went hard core the first four weeks. Zults would only allow points for attending classes at the gym. We would receive points by attending four classes for weeks. The instructor would punch a weekly punch card. I wanted to do the four classes a week, but I did not want to give up my workouts with my triathlon friends. So I attempted to do both. Some weeks I did five 5 AM workouts in a row plus an evening and weekend workout. One week I did Group Ride on Monday, ran on Tuesday, swam Wednesday morning and R/30 (similar to Group Ride) Wednesday afternoon, Group Power on Thursday, Group Ride on Friday and ran on Sunday.
I felt like I was keeping the pace. Surprisingly the other areas of my life (my education classes, Bible Study, laundry, housework, kid's activities) flowed together and I did not feel behind. I remember the third week feeling like my life was synchronized even though I had many things going on all at once. Except last week starting around Monday I felt like I was falling off the Zults wagon and I had to majorly slow down my pace. I only ran and went to Power last week. We had more than normal non-Zults meals and even some unhealthy snacks. I can blame female issues and a busy schedule, but I think my body was craving a break. However with the habits I established, I am confident I can continue good eating and exercise next week even though is Zults is over. Although I am not shooting for four classes a week, but instead taking advantage of outside running and cycling.
When I look back at the last five weeks, Zults came at a good time for us. We knew going into April, our lives were going to move faster and we would be juggling more activities. I had hoped to journal throughout Zults about our experience, but my time for anything extra was limited. Hailey and Derek both ran track. I worked at two of the three track meets. Derek continued bi weekly Parkour classes. Kara started soccer and ran in the Awesome 3000. Derek and I ran an obstacle course 5K race. History fair projects times three all had to be completed. My education classes this quarter include more reading and projects. Not to mention I made the final decision to close my day care. I applied for a new job for the fall, interviewed, and was told two days ago I got it! We also had the normal amount of meetings, small group, Book Club, and a few outings with friends. I feel like we needed Zults to help us stay grounded with healthy habits when our stress level was higher.
I did not lose a lot of weight but I was told the number on the scale is not what they base it on. I did lose about two pounds of total fat and my fat mass decreased by four pounds. I did gain almost five pounds of muscle which the trainer was surprised about. He asked if I did extra weight lifting during Zults. I was more regular to Power and increased my weight a little bit. I also think it was from carrying the day care babies as well. He said if I continue to eat the way I did on Zults and exercise the same, I would see a number loss on the scale. I ate terrible this weekend though so I know this is going to take some willpower.
Ideally I would love to do a sprint triathlon mid summer and an olympic distance triathlon late summer or early fall. And then a half marathon in the winter. The triathlon cost is increasing and I don't think I can afford all those races. A big goal I have is to get on my bike and get some good riding time in.
Monday, April 3, 2017
Zults: Pre-Week #2
So we are about two weeks away from beginning our first ever Zults War Challenge. This program through the gym I attend has always intrigued me. It is an add on price and above my budget like many of the extra programs. When it comes to my membership, I can only afford the bare minimum. However one of my former clients formed a team with some of my friends from the kid's school. Rob and I thought we would try it.
I am not sure exactly what we signed up for. I think it is either going to be eye opening to the fact we are not eating as healthy as we think we are or worse it is going to show how much I snack. I think many of my added calories are not from meals but from unhealthy snacks.
Those who are on our team have concerns such as when to exercise. We all have different schedules and commitments. Right now early mornings are working well for me. I know some will not sacrifice sleep and others think it is just plain crazy to get up at 4:45 AM. But I cannot imagine trying to do it any other way. If I had to rely on afternoons or evenings, I would probably only exercise once or twice a week.
I have not blogged about my exercise all winter so this a quick recap. As for races I did the Turkey Dash 5K with Derek on Thanksgiving morning and we did the Be My Muddy Valentine Obstacle Course 5K in February. The obstacle course race was quite challenging and Derek amazed me. He was one tough little mud runner.
My plan was to possibly train for the Eugene Marathon which is the first weekend of May. I was running 9 or 10 mile runs on the weekends in the frigid cold weather. On two occasions, my phone froze and completely stopped working. It took longer than normal to regulate my body temperature when I returned home. Part of me loved the winter solace as it reminded me of my early running days on the snow paths of Michigan.
I also did some track runs on the South Salem track in the cold. It was wonderful being back on the track again.
On a particular long run, my IT band started hurting. I wanted to complete the workout and continued. It was not excruciating, but uncomfortable. I felt discouraged. I am almost 40 (now am 40 as I am writing this) and my body is not the same as it was in my 20's.
A few days later I tried to do a simple four mile run on a somewhat dark morning. I had all my reflective gear on including my head lamp. Yet I was almost hit a truck. I really was. I hit my fist on truck coming right at me and yelled, "Stop!" I still don't know if the driver was doing a right turn and not paying attention to the cross walk or running a red light. It sent my anxiety in a tailspin. Not long after that my IT band started throbbing and I had to walk most of the way home. I felt discouraged and somewhat traumatized.
I had not been stretching much or rolling my IT band. Plus I put on the miles rather quickly. This might have been the cause of the side knee pain. I backed off on my running and only ran one or two times a week and did swimming, spin, and power. Sometimes I felt a dull pain on the side of my knee by the fourth mile especially coming off a hill.
Now I am at the point where I am running without pain, but I have not done more than five miles since December. I am diligent about stretching and rolling most nights and doing some simple yoga as well. I think it helps.
I am considering another triathlon this summer and possibly a longer run in the fall, winter, or even next spring. I may need to see my doctor or get a referral to physical therapist if the pain continues. For now I am using what I know (and is recommended by my friends and Runner's World) and seeing if that alleviates the issues.
So 2 weeks before Zults here is what I have done:
Monday = Swim 1800 yards (1 mile) at the Courthouse in the afternoon by myself. Pretty decent workout. My breaststroke is still messy but improved. My 50 yards are faster by about five seconds.
Tuesday = Ran 4.76 miles with a 9:38 minute/mile pace with Tracy. It was cooler out but thankfully not raining. I also took the kids swimming in the afternoon at the gym and played in the water with them.
Wednesday = Swim 1300 yards (about 3/4 mile) at the Courthouse at 5 AM with triathlon friends. Got a later start and I think they ended earlier than normal. So I got a smaller amount of yards in than normal. One of our friends is doing her first triathlon this weekend. She is a pretty intense athlete and does ultras. She swims faster than me. So I don't think she will have any problems doing a sprint tri especially on a mostly flat course. She was asking me questions all about triathlons and I got pretty excited for her. I almost wished I was doing it too! Our other friend said I should a half ironman. So of course I spent some time today searching Ironman 70.3 races. But not yet.
Thursday = Group Ride I got to go to ride with my friend from the kid's school and Hailey went too! I told Hailey she did have to stay for the whole workout but she did! She pushed herself hard and loved it. It was a good workout and I am enjoying Ride much more so.
Friday = Rest Day. No planned workout. Although I did walk to the park with the baby I care for and do a few loops around the park. I also did some big cleaning projects in the playroom. I skated with the girls tonight at the skating rink. So that is some calories burned. I also bought some protein pancake mix and tried one for lunch. Surprisingly it was really good. And it helped me not be hungry all afternoon.
Saturday = Street Hockey. I was going to go to the gym in the morning because Rob was not back yet. I sensed I needed to be at home with the girls. It's not like I don't trust them alone, but they have had some struggles getting along lately. They were a little clingy when Rob was gone. I did play hockey in the afternoon and I played the whole time. Normally I only last 45 minutes to an hour...and I know it sounds terrible...but truth be told I get bored. This time I enjoyed it.
Sunday = Ran 5.46 miles with a 9:44 pace. It was one of those Sunday afternoons where I had zero desire to run, but I knew I had to do it. I knew I would not regret it. I even tackled the Boone hills and did not have to walk. It was a pretty good run. I also had no IT band pain!
I am not sure exactly what we signed up for. I think it is either going to be eye opening to the fact we are not eating as healthy as we think we are or worse it is going to show how much I snack. I think many of my added calories are not from meals but from unhealthy snacks.
Those who are on our team have concerns such as when to exercise. We all have different schedules and commitments. Right now early mornings are working well for me. I know some will not sacrifice sleep and others think it is just plain crazy to get up at 4:45 AM. But I cannot imagine trying to do it any other way. If I had to rely on afternoons or evenings, I would probably only exercise once or twice a week.
I have not blogged about my exercise all winter so this a quick recap. As for races I did the Turkey Dash 5K with Derek on Thanksgiving morning and we did the Be My Muddy Valentine Obstacle Course 5K in February. The obstacle course race was quite challenging and Derek amazed me. He was one tough little mud runner.
My plan was to possibly train for the Eugene Marathon which is the first weekend of May. I was running 9 or 10 mile runs on the weekends in the frigid cold weather. On two occasions, my phone froze and completely stopped working. It took longer than normal to regulate my body temperature when I returned home. Part of me loved the winter solace as it reminded me of my early running days on the snow paths of Michigan.
I also did some track runs on the South Salem track in the cold. It was wonderful being back on the track again.
On a particular long run, my IT band started hurting. I wanted to complete the workout and continued. It was not excruciating, but uncomfortable. I felt discouraged. I am almost 40 (now am 40 as I am writing this) and my body is not the same as it was in my 20's.
A few days later I tried to do a simple four mile run on a somewhat dark morning. I had all my reflective gear on including my head lamp. Yet I was almost hit a truck. I really was. I hit my fist on truck coming right at me and yelled, "Stop!" I still don't know if the driver was doing a right turn and not paying attention to the cross walk or running a red light. It sent my anxiety in a tailspin. Not long after that my IT band started throbbing and I had to walk most of the way home. I felt discouraged and somewhat traumatized.
I had not been stretching much or rolling my IT band. Plus I put on the miles rather quickly. This might have been the cause of the side knee pain. I backed off on my running and only ran one or two times a week and did swimming, spin, and power. Sometimes I felt a dull pain on the side of my knee by the fourth mile especially coming off a hill.
Now I am at the point where I am running without pain, but I have not done more than five miles since December. I am diligent about stretching and rolling most nights and doing some simple yoga as well. I think it helps.
I am considering another triathlon this summer and possibly a longer run in the fall, winter, or even next spring. I may need to see my doctor or get a referral to physical therapist if the pain continues. For now I am using what I know (and is recommended by my friends and Runner's World) and seeing if that alleviates the issues.
So 2 weeks before Zults here is what I have done:
Monday = Swim 1800 yards (1 mile) at the Courthouse in the afternoon by myself. Pretty decent workout. My breaststroke is still messy but improved. My 50 yards are faster by about five seconds.
Tuesday = Ran 4.76 miles with a 9:38 minute/mile pace with Tracy. It was cooler out but thankfully not raining. I also took the kids swimming in the afternoon at the gym and played in the water with them.
Wednesday = Swim 1300 yards (about 3/4 mile) at the Courthouse at 5 AM with triathlon friends. Got a later start and I think they ended earlier than normal. So I got a smaller amount of yards in than normal. One of our friends is doing her first triathlon this weekend. She is a pretty intense athlete and does ultras. She swims faster than me. So I don't think she will have any problems doing a sprint tri especially on a mostly flat course. She was asking me questions all about triathlons and I got pretty excited for her. I almost wished I was doing it too! Our other friend said I should a half ironman. So of course I spent some time today searching Ironman 70.3 races. But not yet.
Thursday = Group Ride I got to go to ride with my friend from the kid's school and Hailey went too! I told Hailey she did have to stay for the whole workout but she did! She pushed herself hard and loved it. It was a good workout and I am enjoying Ride much more so.
Friday = Rest Day. No planned workout. Although I did walk to the park with the baby I care for and do a few loops around the park. I also did some big cleaning projects in the playroom. I skated with the girls tonight at the skating rink. So that is some calories burned. I also bought some protein pancake mix and tried one for lunch. Surprisingly it was really good. And it helped me not be hungry all afternoon.
Saturday = Street Hockey. I was going to go to the gym in the morning because Rob was not back yet. I sensed I needed to be at home with the girls. It's not like I don't trust them alone, but they have had some struggles getting along lately. They were a little clingy when Rob was gone. I did play hockey in the afternoon and I played the whole time. Normally I only last 45 minutes to an hour...and I know it sounds terrible...but truth be told I get bored. This time I enjoyed it.
Sunday = Ran 5.46 miles with a 9:44 pace. It was one of those Sunday afternoons where I had zero desire to run, but I knew I had to do it. I knew I would not regret it. I even tackled the Boone hills and did not have to walk. It was a pretty good run. I also had no IT band pain!
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