I am not even sure where to start. It has been awhile since I posted. Our vacation to Virginia feels like eons ago because of how intense the last week and a half has been. And December--what was up with December this year. December is busy anyway but I always felt like I was running from one thing to the next. A big majority of it was due to all the child care training meetings and holiday events. I had a few days off just at home before we left for Virginia and that was much needed. Our vacation was a good mix of activity and downtime. I only ran once on vacation--on the Virginia Beach boardwalk. It was a great five mile run and I LOVE running there. I did not have much motivation to run more than this. I craved the rest.
We came home late Friday night/early Saturday morning. We spent the whole Saturday getting ready for our Korean students to come--setting up beds, moving Hailey upstairs, grocery shopping, and I had errands to run for child care. We awoke Sunday morning to snow. Church should have been cancelled but there was a birthday party afterwards--so only a small number were even in church. Our students came soon after church. We had a good first day getting to know one another. We played Mario Kart, Ticket to Ride, watched AFV etc. I felt a little out of sorts and socially awkward, but our kids were doing awesome. I was hoping school would NOT be cancelled on Monday. However I did not get my wish. Instead I had two Korean students, my three, and three day care kids in the house all day long. We could not go anywhere due to the snow. It was a long day and more busy if anything--everyone needed help with something. At one point I was going to have them take a number. I was really tired by the end of it and still feeling out of sorts. So Rob sent me to the gym where I rode the bike for 40 minutes and watched Shark Tank.
My plan was to get up early Tuesday and go to Power thus getting back into the routine. I woke up with bad anxiety and I could not get up. Tuesday actually turned out to be a decent day. Rob & I both decided we had to put off exercise for the rest of the week until the girls settled into a routine. Wednesday was hard and Thursday was even harder. I was dealing with anxiety but doing my best to hold it together. I felt like I was stifling my emotions and I would eventually crack. We were dealing with some bedtime issues and reluctance. On Friday I posted house rules and that helped tremendously. We've not had many bedtime issues since. They also respect our Sundays. Our kids don't do homework on Sundays not as a legalistic thing but because they need a break. They need time to play, be kids, and take a break from schoolwork.
Saturday I woke up with crazy anxiety and Saturday morning and afternoon was rough. I somehow got through it and worked things out. I felt better by the evening. Sunday morning we had a set back with the girls and getting them ready for church (they have to go to Immanuel which is a 1/2 hour earlier) felt like getting preschoolers ready. I was getting so frustrated and I felt completely powerless. The complaining and reluctance was getting to me. Then there was miscommunication and they dropped the girls off while our church service was still going on. I got them back to Immanuel and a friend took them for the whole afternoon. They had a great time and we got a needed break.
On Monday I woke up and had a good run with Tracy. We went a little over 4 miles and were slower than normal. She has been sick and I have not been running. So it was not an easy run, but we were glad we got out. Monday started out as the smoothest morning we had since the girls got here. Something happened at school that upset one of the girls and I felt like we had a major set back. Dealing with her Monday afternoon and evening was hard. I was able to connect with her better and talk to her. It carried over into Tuesday (yesterday). She has major mood swings and I never know what mood I am going to get hit with. She is having a hard time adjusting here. I can understand it, but I cannot excuse some of the behavior.
Tuesday I went to Power and it has changed a lot--all new weights. I am not completely used to the new equipment. This morning I got up an swam. The exercise and getting up before everyone is helping me function. My anxiety is better than it was a week ago, but I am still feeling too much stress. Yesterday I hit a curb and popped a tire in the van--that just added to all the extra stress. I feel like I am just getting the minimal done each day and there are other things I can never get to. Last week I was not taking care of myself very well. This week so far I've done better.
This really is not a bad thing. I am learning a great deal. Our kids are doing pretty well and learning things too. Rob & I are working very well together--we only had one major issue we had to work through. Today I get a break as they are in Portland all day & evening. So I will be using this time to get caught up on things.
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