In a way I feel like I am back to square one. On Thursday I ran during Rob's lunch and had a fabulous fast run. My initial plan was to go to Ride on Friday morning. The alarm went off and I just could not do it. I was not going to let it ruin my day, but the day got ruined by other factors. Friday morning was rough and my anxiety was too high again. I struggled to get through the morning. I felt significantly better by the afternoon. Friday night I had the middle school all nighter so I had not planned on exercising at all on Saturday. I got some sleep, but it was not decent sleep. I tried to take a nap Saturday afternoon while Rob was working, but the kids were really out of hand and would not let me. After sending some of them to a mandatory quiet time, I was able to take a long nap and feel somewhat rested. Saturday night I felt fine. I went to bed that night extra fatigued and I thought it was a result of the all nighter. Sunday morning at 4 AM I woke up with stomach pain, chills, and eventually a head ache. I knew I was sick.
I had some of the same symptoms as the day care kids so I knew I caught their virus. I took Kara in last week and the doctor said there is a contagious virus going around. There is nothing you can do but wait for it to flush itself out. The lack of sleep and extra stress I have been under probably compromised my immune system. I slept off and on all day. The exchange students went to a friend's house after their church and stayed there all day. They needed that time away and enjoyed being with their friends. Derek went to a friend's house. Hailey and Kara did fine on their own after church. I felt better by the evening so still fatigued and had minor chills. I only had Powerade and a couple crackers the whole day. Rob took care of everything even bringing the girls to Immanuel. I was forever grateful as Sundays are super busy for him. He even had a meeting after church.
On Monday I woke up feeling significantly better but still low appetite. I decided not to run because I had hardly eaten anything. I was glad I had no day care kids and the kids were off school. Overall it was a good day and less stressful than some of the days last week. I decided to take Tuesday & today off because I am not ready to get up at the crack dawn yet. Even yesterday afternoon I had chills again around lunch time and no appetite--I almost laid down again but I was afraid I would sleep too long. Last night I went out with Gretchen and I did not want to cut that short to be home in time to get up this morning.
So today is the first day I don't really feel sick. I am tired of these setbacks interfering with my exercise. But I am not training for a marathon or anything--so I don't think it's that big of a deal. Overall my anxiety level is lower, but I still struggle with some of the day to day issues with the girls. Talking to Gretchen last night was helpful and made me realize I am being too hard on myself. Derek and Kara were having adjustment issues, but they seem to be resolved. They actually have done really well the last couple days.
So December was super busy. January was kicking my butt. Thankfully things feel a little more in control right now. I may just start up again with exercise next week...haven't fully decided yet.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Here we are...it's January
I am not even sure where to start. It has been awhile since I posted. Our vacation to Virginia feels like eons ago because of how intense the last week and a half has been. And December--what was up with December this year. December is busy anyway but I always felt like I was running from one thing to the next. A big majority of it was due to all the child care training meetings and holiday events. I had a few days off just at home before we left for Virginia and that was much needed. Our vacation was a good mix of activity and downtime. I only ran once on vacation--on the Virginia Beach boardwalk. It was a great five mile run and I LOVE running there. I did not have much motivation to run more than this. I craved the rest.
We came home late Friday night/early Saturday morning. We spent the whole Saturday getting ready for our Korean students to come--setting up beds, moving Hailey upstairs, grocery shopping, and I had errands to run for child care. We awoke Sunday morning to snow. Church should have been cancelled but there was a birthday party afterwards--so only a small number were even in church. Our students came soon after church. We had a good first day getting to know one another. We played Mario Kart, Ticket to Ride, watched AFV etc. I felt a little out of sorts and socially awkward, but our kids were doing awesome. I was hoping school would NOT be cancelled on Monday. However I did not get my wish. Instead I had two Korean students, my three, and three day care kids in the house all day long. We could not go anywhere due to the snow. It was a long day and more busy if anything--everyone needed help with something. At one point I was going to have them take a number. I was really tired by the end of it and still feeling out of sorts. So Rob sent me to the gym where I rode the bike for 40 minutes and watched Shark Tank.
My plan was to get up early Tuesday and go to Power thus getting back into the routine. I woke up with bad anxiety and I could not get up. Tuesday actually turned out to be a decent day. Rob & I both decided we had to put off exercise for the rest of the week until the girls settled into a routine. Wednesday was hard and Thursday was even harder. I was dealing with anxiety but doing my best to hold it together. I felt like I was stifling my emotions and I would eventually crack. We were dealing with some bedtime issues and reluctance. On Friday I posted house rules and that helped tremendously. We've not had many bedtime issues since. They also respect our Sundays. Our kids don't do homework on Sundays not as a legalistic thing but because they need a break. They need time to play, be kids, and take a break from schoolwork.
Saturday I woke up with crazy anxiety and Saturday morning and afternoon was rough. I somehow got through it and worked things out. I felt better by the evening. Sunday morning we had a set back with the girls and getting them ready for church (they have to go to Immanuel which is a 1/2 hour earlier) felt like getting preschoolers ready. I was getting so frustrated and I felt completely powerless. The complaining and reluctance was getting to me. Then there was miscommunication and they dropped the girls off while our church service was still going on. I got them back to Immanuel and a friend took them for the whole afternoon. They had a great time and we got a needed break.
On Monday I woke up and had a good run with Tracy. We went a little over 4 miles and were slower than normal. She has been sick and I have not been running. So it was not an easy run, but we were glad we got out. Monday started out as the smoothest morning we had since the girls got here. Something happened at school that upset one of the girls and I felt like we had a major set back. Dealing with her Monday afternoon and evening was hard. I was able to connect with her better and talk to her. It carried over into Tuesday (yesterday). She has major mood swings and I never know what mood I am going to get hit with. She is having a hard time adjusting here. I can understand it, but I cannot excuse some of the behavior.
Tuesday I went to Power and it has changed a lot--all new weights. I am not completely used to the new equipment. This morning I got up an swam. The exercise and getting up before everyone is helping me function. My anxiety is better than it was a week ago, but I am still feeling too much stress. Yesterday I hit a curb and popped a tire in the van--that just added to all the extra stress. I feel like I am just getting the minimal done each day and there are other things I can never get to. Last week I was not taking care of myself very well. This week so far I've done better.
This really is not a bad thing. I am learning a great deal. Our kids are doing pretty well and learning things too. Rob & I are working very well together--we only had one major issue we had to work through. Today I get a break as they are in Portland all day & evening. So I will be using this time to get caught up on things.
We came home late Friday night/early Saturday morning. We spent the whole Saturday getting ready for our Korean students to come--setting up beds, moving Hailey upstairs, grocery shopping, and I had errands to run for child care. We awoke Sunday morning to snow. Church should have been cancelled but there was a birthday party afterwards--so only a small number were even in church. Our students came soon after church. We had a good first day getting to know one another. We played Mario Kart, Ticket to Ride, watched AFV etc. I felt a little out of sorts and socially awkward, but our kids were doing awesome. I was hoping school would NOT be cancelled on Monday. However I did not get my wish. Instead I had two Korean students, my three, and three day care kids in the house all day long. We could not go anywhere due to the snow. It was a long day and more busy if anything--everyone needed help with something. At one point I was going to have them take a number. I was really tired by the end of it and still feeling out of sorts. So Rob sent me to the gym where I rode the bike for 40 minutes and watched Shark Tank.
My plan was to get up early Tuesday and go to Power thus getting back into the routine. I woke up with bad anxiety and I could not get up. Tuesday actually turned out to be a decent day. Rob & I both decided we had to put off exercise for the rest of the week until the girls settled into a routine. Wednesday was hard and Thursday was even harder. I was dealing with anxiety but doing my best to hold it together. I felt like I was stifling my emotions and I would eventually crack. We were dealing with some bedtime issues and reluctance. On Friday I posted house rules and that helped tremendously. We've not had many bedtime issues since. They also respect our Sundays. Our kids don't do homework on Sundays not as a legalistic thing but because they need a break. They need time to play, be kids, and take a break from schoolwork.
Saturday I woke up with crazy anxiety and Saturday morning and afternoon was rough. I somehow got through it and worked things out. I felt better by the evening. Sunday morning we had a set back with the girls and getting them ready for church (they have to go to Immanuel which is a 1/2 hour earlier) felt like getting preschoolers ready. I was getting so frustrated and I felt completely powerless. The complaining and reluctance was getting to me. Then there was miscommunication and they dropped the girls off while our church service was still going on. I got them back to Immanuel and a friend took them for the whole afternoon. They had a great time and we got a needed break.
On Monday I woke up and had a good run with Tracy. We went a little over 4 miles and were slower than normal. She has been sick and I have not been running. So it was not an easy run, but we were glad we got out. Monday started out as the smoothest morning we had since the girls got here. Something happened at school that upset one of the girls and I felt like we had a major set back. Dealing with her Monday afternoon and evening was hard. I was able to connect with her better and talk to her. It carried over into Tuesday (yesterday). She has major mood swings and I never know what mood I am going to get hit with. She is having a hard time adjusting here. I can understand it, but I cannot excuse some of the behavior.
Tuesday I went to Power and it has changed a lot--all new weights. I am not completely used to the new equipment. This morning I got up an swam. The exercise and getting up before everyone is helping me function. My anxiety is better than it was a week ago, but I am still feeling too much stress. Yesterday I hit a curb and popped a tire in the van--that just added to all the extra stress. I feel like I am just getting the minimal done each day and there are other things I can never get to. Last week I was not taking care of myself very well. This week so far I've done better.
This really is not a bad thing. I am learning a great deal. Our kids are doing pretty well and learning things too. Rob & I are working very well together--we only had one major issue we had to work through. Today I get a break as they are in Portland all day & evening. So I will be using this time to get caught up on things.
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