Today

We are back from vacation.  Today was pretty productive and brought some answers.  I saw Dr. V this morning and decided I am going back on my old medication.  If I get any side effects (which I had very little before) or my anxiety gets out of control (which is also likely as this medication helped), then we'll try something new.  For now he recommends not trying anything new and not going back to the SSRIs which did give me unwanted side effects.

While on vacation I ran once in the evening and did an open water swim.  I swam about a half mile.  I did not do much else.  I think if there were others who wanted to run or swim, it would have been more motivating.  We stayed up late playing games and everyone was in such a relaxed mode--it was hard to do much beyond that. I did a lot of swimming with the kids and walking back and forth up the boardwalk.  It was not all sitting around.  All in all it was a fabulous vacation.  I loved being with Rob's cousins especially...I got to know some of them much better.  I only had one major anxiety moment and Rob & I were able to work it out quickly.  It didn't ruin that day or put a damper on the trip.  Thankfully we didn't have to drag others into it either.  It was so minor.  I felt in control of my anxiety.  There have been times I have been able to tell Rob:  "I am getting anxious because of this--"  I don't need him to soothe me or calm me down.  He can recognize what is causing it.  It greatly helps to not overreact.

I have been doing OK since we got home.  I have moments of being jumpy and jittery. I have weird sleep again. I have been pretty good about not overreacting, but I still have the noise sensitivity.

I decided not to do a triathlon this fall.  I really want to do it and I know I could.  My training has not been consistent, but I have the ability and strength to complete it.  It was a hard decision.  I honestly felt in church yesterday God was telling me not to do it.  When I talked to Rob about it he suggested not doing it either.  The main reason is the long drive...it is past Portland.  It would take up a whole weekend in September.  Some of the factors is the cost though I had been saving for it.  I still feel burnt out from the marathon even though it was two months ago.  I love triathlon and I want to do more of them.  I am postponing it until the spring.  I really need a break from training for anything.

Right now I am really enjoying Group Power...like more than I ever have.  I increased my weight on every track and it was very motivating to go the last few weeks.  I went this afternoon and loved it.  I'd love to go twice a week for awhile.  I can't do that if I have to do brick workouts and squeeze in extra open water swims.  I also want to continue to work on my biking because I have done so well the last couple weeks.  It might do me some good to back off on the running and focus on other things.  I can still run with Tracy once a week.  We've only been doing four to five miles at a time.  So we'll see what the end of the summer/the fall brings.  I do know the kids want to do one or two of the Bush Park races and the Turkey Trot again so I can run with them too.

My eating got bad again over vacation and I've gained about five pounds since last spring.  So I need to get that back off again.  It will be easier now once vacations are over.  I need to get back into my healthy breakfasts and lunches and back off on desserts.  I was surprised I had gained that much though I really should not be when I look at all the ice cream we ate on vacation.

I hope I can stay motivated even though I'm not training for anything.  Having exercise buddies helps with that.  My friend Anna may even start going to Group Power with me which help too.